Fighting Dirty...

Last year I embarked on a quest - a quest to fall in love with my husband... I did the Love Dare - from the movie Fireproof... I have to tell you that I indeed fell in love with Dusty all over again... I was loving in all of my ways... I was making choices to not fight... not criticize.. I was making the choice to love - in my actions and in my words... After the 40 days - others around us saw the changes... There were actual physical changes... We appeared to be more joyful... younger... more playful... A dear friend of mine called me on the phone one day - because she just wanted to tell me she loved what she saw... our pure love shining through... and she was thrilled... This particular friend was there the day - I announced that I had filed for divorce... We had been married 20 years and I was - no we were miserable... Something had to change... The Love Dare did that - God did that.... In His Word - In His Instructions - for the first time in my life I knew what love really was.... but....

A year has gone by since the Love Dare has been completed... We have been drifting away from the choices we were actively making... I was actively making... I lost sight of my responsibilities of being a Christ centered Wife... a loving wife... and because I lost focus - Dusty lost focus... I find that we are falling into some of the old habits of carelessness... and it has got to stop... I do not want to be back in the place we first started... The fighting has got to stop.. the indifference has got to stop... The drifting away has got to stop....

Today - I went back to my Love Dare book - I opened the book directly to Day 13- Love Fights Fair.... Yep - God has a way of just letting you know it... setting you right... I realized that I have been fighting dirty... That I have been so very prideful that I did not see the damage I have been inflicting... Words hurt... Actions hurt... Dirty Fighting can damage so deeply.. I could say that Dusty is guilty too - but you know - I am in charge of how I act... how I respond... and I choose to stop.... here is an excerpt from the Love Dare that just smacked me hard today...

The deepest, most heartbreaking damage you'll ever do (or have ever done) to your marriage will most likely occur in the thick of conflict. That's because this is when your pride is strongest. Your anger is hottest. You're the most selfish and judgmental. Your words contain the most venom. You make the worst decisions. A great marriage on Monday can start driving off a cliff on Tuesday if unbridled conflict takes over and neither of you has your foot on the brakes...

Love Reminds You That Your Marriage is Too Valuable To Destroy
Love Reminds You Your Spouse Is More Important Than The Fight.
Love Helps You Install Airbags and sets ups guardrails

Married couples who learn to work through conflict tend to be closer, more trusting, more intimate, and enjoy a much deeper connection afterward..

I have learned that The Love Dare should go beyond the 40 days.. It should last a lifetime... So I am back to basics... The Love Dare Day One..... Love Is Patient - Today - say NOTHING negative.....

Dear Lord - I messed Up Again..

Dear Lord,

I messed up again. I disappointed others, myself, and worst of all - I disappointed you. The more I struggled with your word - the more I fail... the more I fall short.... How can you forgive me when I fail you All the time..... so many times?

Watch and pray, lest you enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak" (Matthew 26:41). Our bodies have strong desires that tempt us to sin... When I think of all the times I fall short - I am in awe of all the times you forgive me... Your word tells me that all I need to do is ask, then receive Your forgiveness... Is it really true that my all sins are gone as far as the east is from the west? It's hard for me understand... but you are God and nothing is impossible...

Tonight - I again realized that you want a relationship with me... You want me to love you with all that I am... You want my heart... Everything I do in corporate worship isn't enough - good works are not enough - especially if I do the things out of obligation and not because of my desire... You want me to worship you.. to love agape... To Desire you To embrace your uncommon grace...

Today in Crazy Love - I read this: "Are you willing to say to God that He can have whatever He wants? Do you believe that wholehearted commitment to Him is more important than any other person in your life? Do you know that nothing you do in this life will ever matter, unless it is about loving God and loving the people He has made?"

Father, I am in a work in progress - I am thankful that you love me... you forgive me and you have not given up on me.... thank you.

Friday Follow - My First Giveaway | I've Become My Mother!

Friday Follow - My First Giveaway | I've Become My Mother!

Today - I am Letting Go!

Today - I am letting go - I am giving up control - I'm letting Jesus take the wheel.. I've been driving too long - and I'm tired.... With me behind the wheel there have been too many detours.. too many dead ends... I realized today (again) that I cannot do it all.... I try to be everything to everyone and I am exhausted... I've put my Father, my husband, and my kids on the back burner... The most important things in my life have been upstaged by my mad desires.. My mad and crazy business... my mad and crazy need to be in control... Not trusting God to take care of me....

With me in the drivers seat - I have driven off the road... I have gotten lost... I have ended up in places that I should never have ventured to.... So picture me stepping out of the car... walking around to the passenger's door getting in... not putting on a seat belt - with Jesus driving - there is no need - He alone protects me...

The Lord will keep you from harm - he will watch over your life; the Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore... Psalm 121:7-8

One Moment Of Weakness

Have you ever gone on a diet.... and cheated.... And because you cheated you made yourself feel defeated.... and instead of jumping back on the diet you chose to blow it for the rest of the day... the rest of the week... the month... That one moment of weakness set you on a path of self destruction... This is what I believe happens when we sin... One sin - one moment of weakness - one indiscretion can create a domino effect of compounding our sin... to do more sin.. Until you are so buried... so caught up in what you are doing that it seems that there is no hope ... But all the time - your stomach - your heart is telling you to STOP... Have you ever felt this way?

Guilt is a very powerful negative emotion... I believe it is God's way of telling us to STOP!

Everyday is a new day... a new opportunity to do what is right... We can break away from sin... The decision is ours....

Hold Fast to what is right.. Hold Fast to your Father... Hold Fast to Love... Hold Fast... Don't give up...

May the God of hope fill you with joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. Romans 15:13

Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.. Psalm 51:10

There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death. For what the law was powerless to do in that it was weakened by the sinful nature, God did by sending His own Son in the likeness of sinful man to be a sin offering. Romans 8:1-3

Jesus said, "Until now you have not asked for anything in my name. Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete. John 16:24

Lukewarm People

Let's just say I DO NOT LIKE A MIRROR IN MY FACE!!! A mirror that is telling me the truths of where I am... where I am headed... where I have been.. and what I am doing wrong.....

There's a quote in Crazy Love - that hit home and it was hard to accept...but the more I think about it - the more I believe it to be true

"The goals of American Christianity are often a nice-marriage, children who don't swear, and good church attendance. Taking the words of Christ literally and seriously is rarely considered. That's for the "radicals" who are "unbalance" and who go "overboard". Most of us want a balanced life that we can control, that is safe, and that does not involve suffering.."

According to Francis Chan author of Crazy Love - this is one of the many definitions of the lukewarm Christian... It's not that we are not saved... It's not that we don't love God... It's we don't give our life to Him.... the control to Him... We are not picking up our crosses and following Him....

"Lukewarm people don't really want to be saved from their sin; they want only to be saved from the penalty of their sin. They don't generally hate sin and are not truly sorry for it; they're merely sorry because God is going to punish them. Lukewarm people don't really believe that this new life Jesus offers is better than the old sinful one." Quote from Crazy Love...

"I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full" John 10:10

"What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? By no means! We died to sin; how can we live in it any longer? Romans 6:1-2..

Food for thought? I know I have my work cut out for me... How about you?

I Had A Camera and There You Go.. | Kelly's Ideas

I Had A Camera and There You Go.. | Kelly's Ideas

Are You Ready?

When I was a little girl, my sisters would tell me about the Rapture - I remember saying that I wanted God to wait.... I wanted to get married and have kids first... My daughters have both come to me at different times and told me that they hoped God would wait because they wanted to get married and have kids too... The cycles we go through... Today, I would welcome the Rapture - I would welcome the pure and complete love - comfort - joy - peace..

I don't know if the Rapture will happen in my life... For the past 2000 years or so - every generation believed it would happen.. There are signs... there are many signs that the time is drawing near. The Bible states that He will come as a thief in the night... although we do not know the date nor the time, Paul does tell us in 1 Thessalonians 5 - that we are not in the darkness - when they say peace and safety - then comes sudden destruction... Basically saying - it won't be a surprise when it does come to pass.

Will the Rapture precede the tribulation? I don't know for sure - I believe it will - I pray that it will.. There are many verses in the Bible that talk about how God will save us from wrath - "Pray always, that you may be accounted worthy to escape all these things that shall come to pass, and to stand before the Son of Man."

I saw this video and it really made me think - is this the way it's going to be?.. What do you think? And are you ready?

The Facts About The Crucifixion

Warning: Details of the crucifixion may be too graphic for some

As followers of Christ - we know that God sent his only Son to die on the cross for our sins (John 3:16).. We know - that Jesus Christ was the lamb of God (John 1:29).... We know that the wages of sin is death (Romans 6:23).. But do we think about His sacrifice for us...? Do we ever think about the cross? The real actual pain... fear - that Jesus bore for us.... Do you think about the time that Jesus prayed in the Garden of Gethsemane before he was betrayed....? Do you think about how He prayed to God - asking God if there was a chance to take this cup away...? Do you think about how he prayed so hard that His sweat became like great drops of blood? (Luke 22:44)

Last Sunday - a friend of mine read a passage out of a book she was reading.... It was the story of the crucifixion... What was a crucifixion - where did it come from... What did it mean? The details were hard to hear.... Many of us listening had tears in our eyes... One woman covered her ears...

Where did the practice of crucifixion come from? The first known practice was by the Persians.

What is the practice of crucifixion? Torture and execution by fixation to a cross.

Who perfected this torture? The Romans - they were very efficient and skillful.

Most common form? Was the Tau cross shaped like a "T" There is archeological evidence that supports that this is the type of cross that Jesus was crucified on.

Before the prisoner carries his 110 lb cross to his execution - he is scourged. The definition is: inflicting severe punishment.. severe pain...

What happened when Pilate condemned Jesus to scourging and crucifixion?

Scourging happens when the prisoner (Jesus) is stripped of His clothing and His hands tied to a post about His head. A short whip that has several heavy, leather thongs with two small balls of lead attached near the ends of each strap. This very heavy whip is brought down full force again and again across the shoulders.... the legs... the back... At first the straps bruise... then the skin breaks apart and then the whips hit muscle - causing massive blood loss...

When Jesus was untied the soldiers continued to mock Him - calling Him the king of the Jews... They threw a robe over his bleeding shoulders and made a crown of thorns and pressed it into His scalp - when they tired to this game - they ripped off the robe causing the wounds to open more and His pain to increase...

After the torture... suffering from blood loss and dehydration - Jesus was to carry His cross. He could not do it and Simon of Cyrene was ordered to carry it for Jesus...

Once He arrived at the execution spot - the guards quickly threw Jesus backward with His shoulders against the wood. Large, heavy, square, wrought-iron nails were hammered into His wrists into the wood - each wrist was nailed to the cross - they were careful not to pull the arms to tightly - they had to allow for some movement... The left foot is now pressed against the right foot, and with both feet extended, toes down, a nail is driven though the arch of each - leaving the knees a little flexed... Jesus is now crucified.

As the body sags and more weight is on the nails the wrists are in pain - then to try to get away from the pain of the wrists.. the full weight is brought on his feet and more painful agony... As the arms get more tired - great waves of cramps sweep over the muscles - the cramps make it almost impossible to push Himself up - hanging in this manner causes the pectoral muscles to paralyze and the inter-costal muscles are unable to act - making it difficult to exhale air from the lungs.... Hours of unbelieving pain - cramping, partial asphyxiation, the heart being compressed and causing the heart to stop beating... Most die from either heart failure or loss of oxygen... Jesus is believed to have died from heart failure...

The common practice of crucifixion was to break the bones of the legs to prevent the victim from pushing himself up to help him breath... They did not have to do this to Jesus he was dead.. and to make doubly sure He was dead - a soldier drove a sword through His side and immediately blood and water came out....

I challenge you to look up to Him and thank Him this coming Good Friday - April 2nd... Thank Him for loving us... thank Him for his suffering so that we can be forgiven. The wages of sin is death..... and He died so that We could Live......

I Need To Wait... Patiently

I have shared many times that I am not a patient person... I am always in a hurry of some sort and having to wait at times... drives me INSANE... and as I shared last week, my husband was laid off and needs to find a new job... Granted I am not worried - I know the right job will come along... We have always been frugal and I am sure that all will be good... It's just that I hate waiting....

Hate waiting to find out where... when... what.....

I also am having a hard time sharing my space... I know that sounds awful.... But - the husband is also driving me insane.... I don't think he means to. I know he is doing what he needs to do. But when I get into a rhythm at work - I don't want someone looking over my shoulder... or asking me to explain what I am doing and why... Granted - he wants to know more about what I do and I should have the patience to explain to him - but focus on paragraph one... I am NOT a patient person...

Thankfully - we are not fighting about this... yet.... I was reminded yesterday that God's timing is perfect... always.. and I need to wait on Him - throughout the Bible - God tells us to wait... Why? So we can trust in Him.... and know that He is in control...

Psalms 37:7 Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for Him; Do not fret because of him who prospers in his way.

Lamentation 3:25 The Lord is good to those that wait on Him, to the person that seeks Him.




image from Yahoo pictures.

Hallelujah On American Idol - Tim Urban

Listening to Tim Urban singing Hallelujah on American Idol last night gave me chills... Love it!

And so did the judges!

What do you think?

Effective Immediately.... | I've Become My Mother!

Effective Immediately.... | I've Become My Mother!

What I Read Today

Today - I went to my Bible looking for answers... looking for inspiration... looking for God.... Don't you just love it when you open the bible to any random page and your eyes drift to exactly what you need to read? Here are the verses I read today... Do you see any common denominator? The verses were read in this order.

Exodus 23:2 Do not follow the crowd in doing wrong. When you give testimony in a lawsuit, do not pervert justice by siding with the crowd...

Ephesians 5:23-28 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing of water through the word.

Isaiah 43:18-19 Forget the former things: so not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.

1 John 4:12 No one has ever see God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.

Philippians 1:9-11 And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ - to he glory and praise of God.

Romans 12:2 Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is - his good, pleasing, and perfect will..

I'm guessing - He has a lot to say to me today...

Peer Pressure

Peer pressure is something that I am seeing everyday with my girls... Pressure to wear the "right" clothes... the "right" hair... Pressure to listen to the "right" music.... watch the "right" shows... Last year my oldest had over 400 "right" songs on her IPod - and she personally did not like any of them... but she listened to them because they were the "right" songs to listen too... Now that she knows what she likes - she has deleted all but about 5 songs and is redoing her IPod inventory...

Fitting in as a teen and often times as an adult is hard to do... Fitting in as a teen is a priority for many... same goes for adults.. But my prayer is for my kids to find their own fit... Not go with the majority of their teeny boppers friends if they don't agree.... but go with what they like... what they want... Start a new trend... Be a leader... Stand up for themselves.. Watching my girls go through this - brings back so many memories of my "awkward" teen years...

1 Timothy 4:12 Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith, and in purity....

Respect Is Not An Option | I've Become My Mother!

Respect Is Not An Option | I've Become My Mother!

Knock That Christian Chip Off Your Shoulder

I have often heard the quote "Hate the Sin - Love the Sinner".. Often times it is said when a Christian is talking about a gay person.. Basically saying that the gay person is sinning but we'll love them anyway.... But are we not all sinners? Wouldn't that quote apply to all of us? Why only pick one sin? Is being gay a bigger sin than killing? Lying? Lusting? I believe Sin is Sin... and I know that I am a sinner and I hope others still love me... God's standards are much higher than ours... what we may believe to be innocent flirting... in God's eyes we're having an affair....

I remember years ago when I was taking a class about how to talk to Jehovah Witnesses- a comment was said that I will remember to the day I die.... "If you want to glorify God - you have to take that Huge Christian Chip off your shoulder...." I took that quote to heart because it can be frustrating when you are discussing your faith.. your beliefs and others don't agree.... I have learned over time -the best witnesses is to live by example... don't point fingers... don't dismiss what others believe... but live your life on fire for God because when others notice that fire burning inside of you- they are going to want to be burnt...

We live in a time that was predicted over 2000 years ago... A time where everything is okay... Nothing is shocking any longer... Morals and and acceptance is no longer in alignment... and as followers of Christ - we cannot buy into this common life - a free for all... We must live an uncommon life... by living our lives not of this world... but of His... and we need to get that Christian chip off of our shoulders and love because He first loved us... Get on Fire... and stop saying those silly cliches.... "Hate the Sin - Love the Sinner" because we are all sinners.....

Romans 3:23 For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God

Private Or Public - That Is The Question | I've Become My Mother!

Private Or Public - That Is The Question | I've Become My Mother!

My Kid Is Going To College.... | I've Become My Mother!

My Kid Is Going To College.... | I've Become My Mother!