Fighting Dirty...

Last year I embarked on a quest - a quest to fall in love with my husband... I did the Love Dare - from the movie Fireproof... I have to tell you that I indeed fell in love with Dusty all over again... I was loving in all of my ways... I was making choices to not fight... not criticize.. I was making the choice to love - in my actions and in my words... After the 40 days - others around us saw the changes... There were actual physical changes... We appeared to be more joyful... younger... more playful... A dear friend of mine called me on the phone one day - because she just wanted to tell me she loved what she saw... our pure love shining through... and she was thrilled... This particular friend was there the day - I announced that I had filed for divorce... We had been married 20 years and I was - no we were miserable... Something had to change... The Love Dare did that - God did that.... In His Word - In His Instructions - for the first time in my life I knew what love really was.... but....

A year has gone by since the Love Dare has been completed... We have been drifting away from the choices we were actively making... I was actively making... I lost sight of my responsibilities of being a Christ centered Wife... a loving wife... and because I lost focus - Dusty lost focus... I find that we are falling into some of the old habits of carelessness... and it has got to stop... I do not want to be back in the place we first started... The fighting has got to stop.. the indifference has got to stop... The drifting away has got to stop....

Today - I went back to my Love Dare book - I opened the book directly to Day 13- Love Fights Fair.... Yep - God has a way of just letting you know it... setting you right... I realized that I have been fighting dirty... That I have been so very prideful that I did not see the damage I have been inflicting... Words hurt... Actions hurt... Dirty Fighting can damage so deeply.. I could say that Dusty is guilty too - but you know - I am in charge of how I act... how I respond... and I choose to stop.... here is an excerpt from the Love Dare that just smacked me hard today...

The deepest, most heartbreaking damage you'll ever do (or have ever done) to your marriage will most likely occur in the thick of conflict. That's because this is when your pride is strongest. Your anger is hottest. You're the most selfish and judgmental. Your words contain the most venom. You make the worst decisions. A great marriage on Monday can start driving off a cliff on Tuesday if unbridled conflict takes over and neither of you has your foot on the brakes...

Love Reminds You That Your Marriage is Too Valuable To Destroy
Love Reminds You Your Spouse Is More Important Than The Fight.
Love Helps You Install Airbags and sets ups guardrails

Married couples who learn to work through conflict tend to be closer, more trusting, more intimate, and enjoy a much deeper connection afterward..

I have learned that The Love Dare should go beyond the 40 days.. It should last a lifetime... So I am back to basics... The Love Dare Day One..... Love Is Patient - Today - say NOTHING negative.....