What Happened To My Sweet Baby?

Today my daughter wore black.... Black pants... black shirt... black jacket... black boots.. and black eyeliner.. On her face is a permanent scowl... She wants to spread her wings... much more than a 14 year old child should... and because I am a 'Mama Bear' she is not happy....

I will not allow her to lie.... When she is caught (unfortunately this is a common occurrence lately) - there are consequences...

I will not allow her date - I do not think her maturity level is there and I also do not believe a 14 year old should date... There is time for that later...

When I say she can have "x" amount of something... whatever it may be - money, diet coke, extra time on her computer.. phone.. - I mean that amount - not 500% more of whatever it is....

I will not allow her to curse in front of me... I cannot control what she does when I am not around - and I hope... I pray that she will be pleasing to God... to others.

Peer pressure just sucks.... I can't think of any other way to put it... High school has definitely brought our share of "peer pressure drama"... I often hear things like: "Everyone has this or that..." or "She used to cut herself... but she stopped" or "She called me a loser - flipped me off... and by the way I gave loaned her $5.."

Talking and texting about sex is common place nowadays... I have lost count of the times I have taken the phone away for long periods of time... only to have her back at it.... As a parent - I reserve the right to check emails, computer histories, and texting whenever or wherever I feel necessary... and When I give my words of encouragement, wisdom and experience - it goes in one ear and out the next... As a parent who has been there... done that.... can write the book about it..... I know nothing...

A friend of mine once said that I need to give my concerns and worries for my kids to God... She said I need to be in constant prayer..... This is a hard thing for me to do... I trust God in so many areas of my life.... I would be lying if I said I give it all to Him - all the time... But to let go of my kids and give them to God... that is a Big leap of faith, isn't it? So today - I am going to pray... I am going to give a little at a time to God... so I say... so I need to do..

I need His help.... and your prayers....

1 Corinthians 15:33 - Do not be misled: "Bad company corrupts good character."

Peer Pressure

Peer pressure is something that I am seeing everyday with my girls... Pressure to wear the "right" clothes... the "right" hair... Pressure to listen to the "right" music.... watch the "right" shows... Last year my oldest had over 400 "right" songs on her IPod - and she personally did not like any of them... but she listened to them because they were the "right" songs to listen too... Now that she knows what she likes - she has deleted all but about 5 songs and is redoing her IPod inventory...

Fitting in as a teen and often times as an adult is hard to do... Fitting in as a teen is a priority for many... same goes for adults.. But my prayer is for my kids to find their own fit... Not go with the majority of their teeny boppers friends if they don't agree.... but go with what they like... what they want... Start a new trend... Be a leader... Stand up for themselves.. Watching my girls go through this - brings back so many memories of my "awkward" teen years...

1 Timothy 4:12 Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith, and in purity....

Being A Teen Is Tough

Blessed are those
who do not walk in step with the wicked
or stand in the way that sinners take
or sit in the company of mockers,
but delight in the law of the Lord
and meditate on his law day and night
Psalms 1:1-2

Being a teen is tough especially when
the cool kids are the mockers and
do not care about God and
do not obey their parents...
It's especially tough when your kid
is attracted to those kind of kids..

I must pray day and night
I pray that my kid will want
to have friends who are pure in heart
to want to do what is right
to want to follow the rules....
To make friends that will last a
lifetime...

Daughter Choose Your Friends Wisely

When my daughters were younger everything I said in their minds was a fact. I knew everything and I was always right.. They never questioned whether I was right or wrong... I was the final authority... or dad was... Those were the easy days...
Now my girls are older... not quite teenagers but close enough... and now I KNOW NOTHING!!! Whatever their twelve year old friends state as fact...must be true..... I'm considered old fashioned and out of touch with reality..... WOW... They have decided that they have the right to question what I say to be a fact or not....since I am so old......
What is really concerning me today is the friends my oldest daughter chooses... Remember both of my children go to Church every Sunday, go to a Christian school, and live in a Christian home....but somehow my #1 daughter likes to hang out with kids whose idea of fun is tohave a boyfriend, go on dates (just wondering how they get there..on their bikes?), make out, sneak behind their parents' backs, and having a baby sounds really cool...
Yesterday, my eldest told me her friends think that I shelter her too much..... SHE'S TWELVE YEARS OLD!!! Of course I am going to shelter her... There is no way....she's going on date.. there's no way she's going to go make out, and having a baby.....Lord help me. She is angry with me that I will not allow her to "hang out" with her friends at their homes..... I said she can invite her friends here.... but I will not open the door for my kid to sneak behind my back and possibly do things that she would regret later. I will not back down on this.. God gave me this very important responsibility to raise my kids right and I take my role as a mother very seriously.
What really angers me is the parents of these kids. Many are single parents whose priorities have switched from being a parent to taking care of their own wants and needs.... One friend in particular has a mom that is looking for a boyfriend and is never home leaving her daughter home by herself..... In the daughters loneliness, she started hanging out with a much older boys and her home has become the "party hangout".. She's TWELVE!!!! My daughter thinks it's cool.. I feel sorry for this little girl who is looking for attention and love in the wrong places..
I had a heart to heart with my beautiful and incredibly special daughter and this is what I said... I remember being twelve years old... I remember how it felt to want to fit it...I remember how important my friends were to me and how important their opinions were. Kids have not changed since I was your age...granted you dress better and have more toys but the emotions are basically the same. You are an incredible kid with so much going for you. I see the love you have for the Lord and I see your heart...it is a big one...But honey, you have to open the door for new friends to enter.. You have to put yourself out there to find a true friend...not someone who will tear you down...but someone who will lift you up.. You need people in your life that have good morals and things in common with you... like keeping good grades like you do, playing tennis, reading books, same taste in music, and they love God with all their hearts just like you... It is a fact that whatever we surround ourselves with, who ever we hang out with, and whatever we fill our minds with..is what we will become... I am not saying to be mean to the girls you have been hanging out with.. I am saying that you need to fix your thoughts on what is true and honorable and right. Think about things that are pure and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. Philippians 4:8 (paraphrased).
I don't know if I got through to my loved one....But I do know that I am covering her in prayer and I will not, I repeat I will not lift up that shelter...