Crazy Love - A Young Girls's Essay

"Since I Have My Life Before Me"
by Brooke Bronkowski
excerpt from Crazy Love - Francis Chan

I'll live my life to the fullest. I'll be happy. I'll brighten up. I will be more joyful than I have ever been. I will be kind to to others. I will loosen up. I will tell others about Christ. I will go on adventures and change the world. I will be bold and not change who I really am. I will have no troubles but instead help others with their troubles.

You see, I'll be one of those people who live to be history makers at a young age. Oh, I have moments, good and bad, but I will wipe away the bad and only remember the good. In fact that's all I remember, just good moments, nothing in between,just living my life to the fullest. I'll be one of those people who go somewhere with a mission, an awesome plan, a world-changing plan, and nothing will hold me back. I'll set an example for others, I will pray for direction.

I have my life before me. I will give others the joy I have and God will give me more joy. I will do everything God tells me to do. I will follow the footsteps of God. I will do my best!!!

This essay was written by a young girl named Brooke when she was twelve (12) years old. This was a little girl that was so on fire for the Lord that she started a bible study on her junior high campus and saved her babysitting money to buy bibles for her unsaved friends.... When she was 14 years old she died in a car accident... Her life on earth ended when she was so very young - but the impact her life had did not - Close to 1500 people attended Brooke's memorial service and those who spoke - talked of the example she gave others.. the pure joy she had for her God... During the memorial the pastor invited those who wanted to know Jesus to come forward - close to two hundred (200) students were on their knees at the front of the church praying for salvation... Ushers gave a Bible to each one of these teens - they were Bibles that Brooke had kept in her garage in hopes of giving out to her unsaved friends... In that one day - the memorial of Brooke's life here on earth - Brooke's testimony led more people to the Lord than most ever will....

Brooke lived her life faithful to Christ - a very short life here on Earth But her life was not wasted.....

This is what I learned today reading - Crazy Love, by Francis Chan.. Click here Crazy Love: Overwhelmed by a Relentless God to buy your copy today....

It's Impossible To Be a Lousy Husband and A Great Dad | I've Become My Mother!

It's Impossible To Be a Lousy Husband and A Great Dad | I've Become My Mother!

Facing the Giants - Getting the Quotes

A few weeks ago - we watched Facing the Giants - This movie is one of my favorites and it so happened to be on TV and because it was on TV the husband watched it with us.... Granted the acting is not the best... but the storyline is great and the quotes are better.. Dusty (the husband) thought it would be a great idea for the both of us to watch it again and write down the quotes.....

Here are a couple...

"Your actions will always follow your believes"

"When we fail - we will give glory and thanks to God and if we win we will give glory and thanks to God"

"Lord Jesus, would you help me? I need you. Lord, I feel that there are giants of fear and failure staring down at me, waiting to crush me. And I don't know how to beat 'em, Lord. I'm tired of being afraid. Lord, if you want me to do something else, show me. If you don't want me to have children, so be it. But You're my God. You're on the throne. You can have my hopes and my dreams. Lord, give me something. Show me something"

"You can't judge your father by his actions and then judge yourself by your intentions. It doesn't work that way. You're not responsible for him. You're responsible for you. You honor God by honoring your authority"

"God can do whatever He wants to do, however He wants to do it. And He chooses to work in our lives because He loves us. He's good. Hope today's a milestone for what He can do for the rest of your life if you trust Him"

I have watched this movie about 5 times - probably more and I cry every time I watch it... This video is a good example of the movie..

From Spouses To Roommates

I remember the day I walked down the aisle to my husband 21 years ago.... I remember when my dad placed my hand onto Dusty's hand.... I remember Dusty looking at me and telling me for all to hear that I was beautiful..... At that moment in time - I felt beautiful and I felt loved..... I remember that night dancing to Crazy Love - by Van Morrison and knowing without a doubt I was cherished....

As the years go by - that freshness leaves us - life takes over and appreciation of one another is lost. Life becomes mundane and your love.... your husband... your wife ends up more of a roommate than a spouse... The dreams you shared together somehow slipped through the cracks. I am not just talking about me but many couples in my age group..... Intimacy is a thing of the past - not just in the bedroom but in the relationship too.

Pastor Rick Warren made this quote on Face Book today -

The primary purpose of marriage is to make you holy, not merely happy. Nothing challenges our self-centeredness more.

Those are strong words - don't you think? They are words that made me think... ponder.... When I took the vows so long ago - I was not thinking about the covenant I made with my husband - I was thinking the fairytale that most young girls think about... It took me over 20 years to figure out what God wanted from me... wanted from my marriage.. I had to learn how to love...and coming from over 20 years of bad habits it made it difficult to be consistent... consistent in love... in forgiveness.. in mercy and grace... I'm a work in progress... Sometimes when I go up one step I later will fall back two.... But the important thing is to not give up..... Is is also important to remember that love is a choice...not always a feeling...

Where you go, I will go, and where you lodge, I will lodge. Your people shall be my people, and your God, my God. Ruth 1:16

Could not find a good video of Van Morrison - Michael Buble - almost as good.

Three Tween Girls Together.... Not A Good Thing | I've Become My Mother!

Three Tween Girls Together.... Not A Good Thing | I've Become My Mother!

Getting In Shape For The Summer | Kelly's Ideas

Getting In Shape For The Summer | Kelly's Ideas

It's About Forgiveness - Tiger Woods | I've Become My Mother!

It's About Forgiveness - Tiger Woods | I've Become My Mother!

No, I Don't Want To Listen

You know what is super crazy about God? It's the fact that when He wants you to listen up - He makes it Clear and Apparent... A friend today called it the echo of God... That description fit perfectly into where I am today... The echo of God is telling me the answers... loud and clear... But do I want to listen to Him? The truthful answer would be "No" Being a follower of Christ is not an easy road to travel. My pastor this morning said it perfectly clear in his sermon... We live in a world of sin - God warns us throughout the Bible that because we are followers of Christ - we will be ridiculed and tempted... We will be unpopular - because of our faith... our beliefs... and the enemy - the evil one is just waiting for that slip... that break in our faith... that over indulgent moment to drive that wedge between our relationship with Jesus.... and many times we don't even recognize it's happening until it's too late...

As I shared before - I am going through a thing... And this thing is driving me insane - crazy...I want to say that I Don't know what to do ...that I Don't know what to say.. that I Don't know how to have my cake and eat it too.. But the truth of the matter is I do know what I have to do... and my sin... my want... is making it a tough choice.... But like I said - God makes it clear and apparent what He wants.. so much so that it is impossible to turn the other way...

So today not only was I hearing an echo in Sunday school... I heard an echo in the sermon, the radio, and tonight... Crazy.... What this echo thing is telling me is that God knows me... Me as an individual.. Me as the person I am - not one of many but just me and me and alone... He loves me and wants me to stand in the Son... He wants me to be in His word.... He does not want me to wonder.... He knows my name...

What Is Character? -

We know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character, and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out His love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom He has given us. Romans 5:3-5

My Sunday school class is studying character and I have to say that I find it to be the most meaningful study I have done in a long time. Character is what we show to the world... What we show to our children... Character is Who we are when no one is looking.... Character is developed by our belief system... our rights... and our wrongs...

I have been having struggles with character lately.... It's strange how when we pursue God more... the Evil one tries to pull you back even harder... I have to resist - I have to keep looking up.. I have to build up my character... I need to focus on Him and Him alone...

One of the things I love about blogging is the incredible women I have met - Oh Sew Good is SSSSEEEWWW good at telling me like it is and I love her for that.... She made a comment to me recently in one of my posts and God just laid her words on my heart.... today - I realized that I did not trust God enough... I did not take His job for me seriously.... I did not show the character that I need to show... One of the many things I love about my God - is that he gives me do-overs... and today - I am praying for a do over... He knows what it is... I don't need to say it here in this blog... but He knows...

Crazy Love Week 1

This Sunday is the start of our Spring session in women ministry. As a ministry team leader - I was asked to read the book Crazy Love: Overwhelmed by a Relentless God by Francis Chan.. I tried to read it last Spring and I found myself really depressed... The book basically put a mirror up to my face and showed me that I don't love enough... hard enough..

I had made the comment that new Christians might have a very hard time with this book.. It might scare them away... Chan is telling us that we need to give our ALL to God... not just a little and not just on Sundays but all of ourselves... The words are easy to say.... to some... But the concept of this book is so hard for me...

Yes, I love God... Yes, I worship Him.... Yes, I have no doubt that I will be with Him for eternity.... So why do I have to surrender my total self to God's purpose, now? I read my Bible and I pray so that I can know Him better.... Have a better relationship with Him... and this book is telling me it is not enough..... How dare he? Who does this Francis Chan think he is?

So I am going to attempt to read this book - a chapter or two a week - give myself time to think about... study it.... pray about it.. and see what God tells me...

Colossians 1:16 "For by Him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible, and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things were created by Him and for Him."

Have you read this book? If so, what do you think?

My Mini Backyard Resort | Kelly's Ideas

My Mini Backyard Resort | Kelly's Ideas

Why Does Temptation Look So Good?

A very good friend of mine left her husband of 27 years a few weeks ago.... To everyone that knows them - they appeared to have the perfect marriage... They held hands when they walked... They look into each others eyes when talking.... They laughed at each others sense of humor... They kissed in public - I know! I on more that one occasion jokingly told them to get a room... To be honest, I was jealous of what they showed to the world.... I would love it if Dusty (my husband) acted like he loved me in public.... he of course loves me - don't get me wrong..... but he's just a guy that isn't affectionate and I am a woman that craves it... enough said about that ....

So when my friend told me she left her husband - I of course asked why.... Her answer was one word and one word only.... Temptation.... Everyone and everything else looked better than what she had and she wanted more.. She had become friendly with a co-worker a couple of years ago - and then she found herself craving his attention - the friendship lead to after work coffee - then it led to dinner... and then so on... She told me she didn't wake up one morning and decide to leave her husband... it was a gradual thing.... and before she knew it - she pushed her love for her husband out and made room for someone else...

When I think of temptation - I think of things that are not good for me - such as....

A hot fudge sundae.... Fried cheese.... seeing an old boyfriend on the sly.... buying something that I have no business buying.... I think you get my drift... The list sounds good - I love fudge... and I would really love to have a new BMW... and the old boyfriend - let's just say - not a good thing...

Temptation is not sin but comes as a result of our sinful nature... My entire youth - I was always attracted to the "bad" things... I just was and as an adult - it something that I fight... and sometimes fail.... I am thankful I have a Father that knows me..... that forgives me.... and loves me anyway... I understand why my friend did what she did... Believe me - I've been married 21 years and I can honestly say - that the temptation has been there.... I have not acted on the temptation - at least not to the extent that I felt was wrong... and I am sure my friend did not start out wrong either.... Temptation can sneak in and take over if you are not forever watchful.

Galatians 6:1 Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted..

My Birthday Wish For Kara | I've Become My Mother!

My Birthday Wish For Kara | I've Become My Mother!

The ABC's Of Me | I've Become My Mother!

The ABC's Of Me | I've Become My Mother!

They May Stray.. | I've Become My Mother!

They May Stray.. | I've Become My Mother!

Squirt Time | I've Become My Mother!

Squirt Time | I've Become My Mother!

I Choose To Love My Husband

Tomorrow I will be celebrating 21 years of marriage.... It's hard to believe that I have spent over half of my life with this man.... I met Dusty shortly before my 21st birthday - I cannot say it was love at first sight... But I can say - I fell in love with him because he made me laugh.... He had a kindness and sense of humor that made him hard to resist.... But shortly after the "I do" everything just seemed to fall apart..

If you have read ever read my other blog - I've Become My Mother - you would know that we did not have a happily ever after marriage.. in fact - we hated each other for most of our marriage... I know hate is a very strong word - but I believe it is the word that described us..... I did not know how to love him... and he did not know how to love me either.... We were two people who married too soon and did not know what to do... so we became roommates that were raising two incredible kids together...

A few years ago - I filed for divorce - paid the attorney way too much money- called my pastor - and cried.... I believed this was the right thing to do... I was done... I felt I had wasted my life and it was time to start all over.... This is when Dusty realized that he loved his family... not necessary me - but he did not want to lose the family we had created together.... My pastor helped by telling Dusty this... "I believe in marriage.... no one ever wants a divorce.. no one... Kelly is serious about this and I think it would be a good idea to give her time.... Sometimes - marriage can be like a sprained ankle - in order to have it heal.... you got to take the weight off of it.... " Dusty - moved out and tried to give me the time I needed.... I let him move back the day after Christmas.... Not because I wanted our marriage to work.. but because I felt bad for him... We went back into our destructive circle for another year until.....

I kept hearing about this movie called Fireproof and how it had a book in the movie that helped to save marriages... I was hoping to learn a "fool proof" way to save my marriage... My church decided to have a Fireproof series - not only was the sermon based on marriage... the Sunday school lessons were based on it too.... The first day - we watched the movie together... I don't think a movie has ever hit me so hard... I saw me... I saw Dusty in both of the characters.. The movie opened my eyes - a little... To take it one step further - I was shopping at Sam's Club and there was the book - The Love Dare - the book from movie.....

I bought The Dare - and it took me on journey that I cannot describe... I learned how to love Dusty - for the first time, really.... It came down to choices... How God wanted me to love.... Once I was able to grasp the concept - the emotions and the feelings followed suit.... The amazing thing is that - after a while Dusty saw a difference in me.. and wanted more.... He learned how to love through my actions... You can follow my journey in I've Become my Mother - Day One. I have learned that it is easy to fall back on destructive behavior... Dusty and I are not in the best place today.... Not because I don't love him... I do... We... no I have gotten too busy... too lazy to work on Love...

So today - I am going to do The Love Dare again... Today - I choose to love my husband.... I love you, Honey... and I choose you...

Love Dare Day 22 - "Love is a choice, not a feeling.. It is an initiated action, not a knee-jerk reaction. Choose today to be committed to love even if your spouse has lost most of their interest in receiving it. Say to them today in words similar to these. "I love you. Period... I choose to love you even if you don't love me in return" I truly believe - at least I believe now in this season in my life - it's never too late to love..

I Have A Question...

First off - I have to say I believe in God - I know that one day I will be with Him.... By His blood I have been forgiven... I have been saved.... I am in no way doubting this to be true.... I love my Lord and Savior with all my Heart, with all my mind, and with all my soul...

But I have a Question - maybe it's just me.... or maybe you've seen it too....

Why are the saddest people I know the most devote believers I know? I find myself at times sad but that sadness does not define my life... I try to seek happiness.... I believe through Him - I will... I do....

Are they sad because they are not with Him now?
Are they sad because they have not given their sadness to Him?
Are they sad because they just are?

I try to understand... I try to empathize - I try to reach out to them... I really do... But I find myself backing away from people who are constantly full of sorrow.... I am in no way judging them - at least I try not too.... But I have to admit this constant sadness gets so very annoying... I just want to say, "Snap out of it!!!!"

There are days that we are just weepy... I know I have many times found myself tearing up in church or when I think about His love for me... I can tear up at a commercial... at a thought... a memory... but that moment passes and I am me again... a person who tries to let God's love shine through me... and in that shine - I hope... I pray that when others see me.. They see joy and not sorrow...

What do you think believers can be so sad?

These Boot Were Made For Walking.....

Last year in our women ministry we talked about and studied Kay Warren's book Dangerous Surrender - the premise of the book was to step out of your comfort zone and spread God's glory... His love... To reach the unreached... To spread His gospel... One of Kay's ministries is helping children in Africa who are suffering from AIDS.... This book will make you sit up and take notice... It will help put a fire in you that may have not been there.... I know my embers were not burning until I got a glimpse of what I believe God wants from me....

I am NOT an outgoing person... I am a homebody that prefers staying home curled up with a good book, a hot cup of tea, and my dog snoring on the ground next to me..... I DO NOT like talking in public.... I DO NOT like being noticed.... I am by nature a very lazy.... a very quiet person.... my close friends and family don't see that side of me - but it's there.... I have to really know someone before I expose myself.... before I let someone in..... I am very guarded....

So I am wondering why am I getting up in front of a bunch of women and talking... praying..... singing"these boots were made for walking" okay that's an another story.... But you see what I am saying.... this behavior is soooooo out of my comfort zone... I am a behind the scenes kind of gal... not the up close and personal kind...

A couple of weeks ago I hosted a ladies' bunco at my home.... We had 16 women laughing out loud.... sharing His love..... and of course we all enjoyed the Red Velvet Cake... yummm The theme of this bunco party was FEET.... Everyone bought a gift that had something to do with FEET.... Why? You may ask... Because it's our FEET that bring us to others... We are done just talking about serving Him.... We are walking.. running....to serve Him.... This Bunco theme was the kick off to our new Spring study... Crazy Love - We do Feet...

Check out these two books - I hope you are blessed as I was..... am...

Susan G. Komen 3 Days for a Cure Walk - Go Becky

One of the scary things that I live with everyday is the high probability of me someday getting cancer.... Everyone who has died in my family has died from cancer or the complications of cancer... Breast cancer is a biggy - both my paternal and maternal grandmothers had it.... I have several aunts and cousins that have also contracted this horrible disease.....

I am thankful that I can go down to get my boobs flattened every year - I am thankful that I have excellent insurance and I can do this.... I am one of the lucky ones.... Because I know when and if I do discover I have breast cancer - I believe I will be able to fight this terrible disease and win!

My friend Becky - will be walking in he Susan G Komen - 3 days for a Cure Walk - 60 miles in 3 days.... Here is the note Becky sent me.....

Hello
A dear friend of mine, spent all of 2009 battling breast cancer. She is a Mom of three kids, ages 12, 10, and 8. A clinic by her home was offering free mammograms, so her and her friend decided on a whim to go to the clinic and have a mammogram done. Because of that "whim," she found out that she had breast cancer. In 2009, she had to have a double mastectomy along with a hysterectomy. Today she is cancer free. Imagine if she would have never had to fight that fight. If she would not have had to spend all of 2009 battling a disease that could have very well been the end of her life.

That imagination can be a reality. The Susan G. Komen Foundation raises money to fund research to find a cure for breast cancer. Not only do they raise money for research, a portion of the monies raised also goes back into local community programs to benefit women who are dealing with this disease.

My dream is that my daughter will grow up in a world where nobody worries about breast cancer. A world where she won't have to take a year out of her life going in and out of hospitals and fighting each day to stay alive. I have decided to do something to make that dream a reality. In 2010, I will be walking 60 miles over 3 days during the Susan G. Komen 3 Days for a Cure Walk. In order to walk in this incredible event, I will need to do some incredible hard work and training. 20 miles a day, for 3 days in a row is a LOT of miles. Even more importantly, I want to raise at least $3,000 to support breast cancer research. In order to do that, I need you to partner with me. Follow the link at the end of this e-mail and donate today. Donate in honor of somebody you know who has fought the breast cancer fight.

Make my dream of a breast cancer free world a reality. It will be a better world for us all!

Thank you for your support!
Becky

I have donated - Can you? Let's beat this terrible disease for ourselves and for our future generations. Love to you. Kelly