Today I Was Weepy

I heard a comment not too long ago from a woman at church.... She said that coming to church can make you weepy... I had never thought about it but it's true.... Standing in His house.... in His presence makes me feel awe... wonder... and sadness for not being the woman that He has called me to be... There are many times when I will be standing and singing in worship and a particular song would start and I would feel that He was talking to my heart..... my soul....

Today was one of those days.... Every message I heard today spoke to me -from Sunday school, to a short skit before the sermon, and to the actual sermon. When God wants you know something ... feel something - he just makes it known in any way He can.... He loves me and He wants me to get it...

I am in a place today - that needs wisdom... I need discernment.... and I need a better character.... I know that I have not been living my life in the past couple weeks the way I should... I have been mad.... I have been stressed... and at times.... often times I feel alone..... There are many wonderful people in my life... in my world but I chose not to seek support... guidance.. love.. I chose to fester and in Church today - I became weepy.... Today - I realized that He knows me.... He loves me.... and He knows my name... Today, I heard Him....

Stop Whining... Start Doing...

I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit with you; I will take the heart of stone out of your flesh and give you a heart of flesh.
Ezekiel 36:26

One of my greatest desires is to do something spectacular.. Something that will make the difference in another person's life.... Something so great that it could only be from God... Tonight my husband and I were talking... I was talking about the disappointment I felt with our church.. with our women ministry group... I was disappointed that people (including myself) don't seem fired up to go out there in our own mission field.. Yes, overseas missions is something I want to do one day... But today - there is so much that can be done here... now.... today!

Last year we talked about serving others and this year we tried to follow through - we had a very low attendance... It's easy to say we'll go out and serve the Lord but it's hard to go out and do it.... As I was whining about my disappointment - Dusty, the husband asked me why don't I just do something... Get a program - an event started.. Get people involved.... Basically he said stop whining and start doing.... How about that mirror in the face???

Now I wonder what can I do? I think I need to let God tell me... It's funny when I wait on Him - He always answers.... Things are about to change... I feel it... God has given me a new heart... a new purpose... I was just too busy complaining about others not telling me what to do.... I was too concerned what others were doing and not doing... But God has shown in His Word that He uses small people... small groups... and sometimes only one individual to do His Mighty Work.... I say God use me.... however You choose.....

All Things Are Possible

Sometimes - a song is exactly what we need to hear...... My faith will not be shaken..

I want my kids to always remember that All Things are Possible with God and God alone....

Crazy Crazy Stressful Day

Do you ever have those days where - the day starts off slow.... and all of a sudden BAM - everyone needs you at the same time and everything is an emergency at the same time - you wish you had 20 clones who could help you out - knowing what you know.... The term "Running around like a chicken with my head cut off" comes to mind... crazy crazy stressful day.... and with that stress - comes the screechy voice - short temper - of the she devil of me.. Is that screeching I hear - really me???? scary stuff... and yes it was me.....

Now looking back on my day - it wasn't so bad..... I have my health.. my kids are doing great... my husband is super duper.... I have a home - plenty of food - friends... and the cause of my stress today - was three (3) new clients and six (6) new contracts - I should be jumping up and down at my added success but because I tend to be a perfectionist - I was stressed out trying to accomplish too many tasks and not delegating like I should.... that 's my control freak coming out.... I feel the need to do everything myself..... so today turned out not to be as good as it could have been...

Thankfully, I was able to meet with several of my friends tonight for dinner and conversation - we are planning different events for our women ministry - working tonight - gave me peace... Sharing my day.. my stress... their day.. their stress - takes the burden away.. There's something about women getting together that just helps to put things into perspective...

Jesus said, "Where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them. Matthew 18:20

Bermuda Shorts And A Tee Shirt..

Last Sunday I realized that I can be a church snob... I am so ashamed of myself .. Our church has been searching for a new worship leader.. After 30 years of leading worship - our guy has stepped down and is getting ready to retire... and we have had several potential candidates come.... all of them have been outstanding.... There's something about starting a Sunday service by lifting up your voice in praise to Him...

Last Sunday, we had a young man who was invited by our pastor to come lead worship - he was a junior in college.... At first glance - I had my Christian Nose up in the air (shame on me) - I did not like the clothes he was wearing.... he had on a pair of Bermuda shorts and a tee shirt... I'm thinking to myself - doesn't this kid know he's in church???

This young man starts off the service by leading us in prayer..... Then he starts to sing.. and his partner starts to harmonize with him..... tears start coming to my eyes... Nothing could sound any sweeter... any richer.... I was humbled.... The entire service - I was a big teary baby....

God taught me a huge lesson on Sunday - a lesson I will never forget.....

Crazy Love For God..

Matthew 22:37-40 "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind." This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: "Love your neighbor as yourself."

I started reading a book today called Crazy Love: Overwhelmed by a Relentless God by Francis Chan. I was asked to read it before my retreat this weekend. Right away even before I hit chapter one, the preface got to me... Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and all your mind.... and Love your neighbor as yourself... That to me was just a kick in the pants... really. As Christians we know what we are suppose to do... but do we act on it? Do I act on it? The answer if I am going to be truthful here would be no.... I don't love my neighbor as I love myself... heck - I don't know many of my neighbors - I don't know many of my friends...

The funny thing is I want to love my neighbors as I love myself but how do I do it? How do I follow Jesus' example of unconditional love? I think the first step is to stop being a Sunday only Christian..... I need to be a 7 day 24 hour kind of Christian.... At church, I feel closer to God because I am there to worship Him.... when I walk out the door and get into the car - I am no longer worshiping - I've become mom and wife again with all the duties and obligations that it entails... Finding time to love my neighbor much less think about my neighbor almost becomes impossible.... almost...

When my pastor talks about living the "Uncommon Life" - I think - yes, that is what I am going to do.... Worldly stuff so long... I am here to serve God and only Him.... and for the most part, I believe that I am a good Christian woman but...................... I could do so much more to glorify Him.... so much more...

I am beginning to believe that serving God and living the uncommon life of a Christian is not something that comes naturally to me. I really don't believe it comes naturally for anyone... We are human.... with human and worldly desires... That does not mean that I don't love God with ALL my heart... I know I do... it just means that we (I) have to put actions to words and thoughts. It means I need to put "me" on the back burner and follow God... Take up that cross...

I believe that I (we) need to continue to grow in our faith... We need to challenge ourselves and others.. We need to lead my example.... We need to be accountable... We need to love..

Open The Eyes Of My Heart, Lord

Sometimes I find myself too busy in my life to look at the good that surrounds me. I get too caught up in my job, being a mom, a wife or, what's on TV. I get too busy for God and I forget about Him.... Forget how better my life is when I glorify Him. Forget how peaceful I am when I glorify Him... Forget how patient and tolerant I am when I glorify Him... Sometimes I just need to open the eyes of my heart and stop forgetting....because when I remember - I am shining in the light of His Glory and what a wonderful place to be...