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Tuesday, January 4, 2011

What Happened To My Sweet Baby?

Today my daughter wore black.... Black pants... black shirt... black jacket... black boots.. and black eyeliner.. On her face is a permanent scowl... She wants to spread her wings... much more than a 14 year old child should... and because I am a 'Mama Bear' she is not happy....

I will not allow her to lie.... When she is caught (unfortunately this is a common occurrence lately) - there are consequences...

I will not allow her date - I do not think her maturity level is there and I also do not believe a 14 year old should date... There is time for that later...

When I say she can have "x" amount of something... whatever it may be - money, diet coke, extra time on her computer.. phone.. - I mean that amount - not 500% more of whatever it is....

I will not allow her to curse in front of me... I cannot control what she does when I am not around - and I hope... I pray that she will be pleasing to God... to others.

Peer pressure just sucks.... I can't think of any other way to put it... High school has definitely brought our share of "peer pressure drama"... I often hear things like: "Everyone has this or that..." or "She used to cut herself... but she stopped" or "She called me a loser - flipped me off... and by the way I gave loaned her $5.."

Talking and texting about sex is common place nowadays... I have lost count of the times I have taken the phone away for long periods of time... only to have her back at it.... As a parent - I reserve the right to check emails, computer histories, and texting whenever or wherever I feel necessary... and When I give my words of encouragement, wisdom and experience - it goes in one ear and out the next... As a parent who has been there... done that.... can write the book about it..... I know nothing...

A friend of mine once said that I need to give my concerns and worries for my kids to God... She said I need to be in constant prayer..... This is a hard thing for me to do... I trust God in so many areas of my life.... I would be lying if I said I give it all to Him - all the time... But to let go of my kids and give them to God... that is a Big leap of faith, isn't it? So today - I am going to pray... I am going to give a little at a time to God... so I say... so I need to do..

I need His help.... and your prayers....

1 Corinthians 15:33 - Do not be misled: "Bad company corrupts good character."


Terry said...

Howdy Kelly
Blessings to you dear blogging sister .
Thank you for dropping by I really needed to read your comment today .
Remember if God can heal you He can also carry you through the teenage years with your daughter .
You are the parent so never waver even when you get weary as often happens with 14 year olds :)
I encourage you to hold on with love and stick to the rules while your 14 year old toddler throws a tantrum .
As I recall this is what it felt like sometimes.
It is not you that she is meaning to annoy it is her own emotions as her world is rapidly changing ,and growing in new and strange directions around her .
It is okay not to like the person they are becoming and still love them with all your heart :)
Things will be alright again after she walks through the angst of this age and becomes confident again in her own skin.
Try to make time for doing special unexpected things together ,a class of some sort or a special trip for just the two of you .Maybe a special date night with Dad for some activity they both enjoy .
Keep a record in a journal about the positive things you do see in her and share it with her at some point in the future when she goes off to college, or moves out on her own for the first time.
The bad stuff give it all to God and let His plan carry you through this difficult age.
You already know all this stuff.
Sometimes we all need a reminder we are doing a good job !
You and yours are being lifted up in prayer.
Happy hugs coming your way
Until next time
Happy Trails

RCUBEs said...

Prayers are indeed essential. As we battle with unseen enemies daily. We can train our kids God's way but they spend a lot of time, too hanging out outside with their peers who are raised and trained differently. I do believe in prayer covering for our children. The enemies don't see our hearts but they hear. "Principalities in the air..." Pray out loud with God's sWORD and speak blessings to your children. Praying with you and may the Lord protect you all.

Saleslady371 said...

You describe the challenge of raising teens so well. Praise God for the boundaries you have erected. Underneath it all, bet your daughter feels very loved by such a Godly mom.

Deborah Ann said...

You are a great mom, and I'm sure God will step in as needed, heheh.

So many parents today aren't enforcing rules, and the kids don't know what the boundaries are.

Great job, mom!

KEE said...

Sounds like you are already doing a great job as a parent. You haven't given up and given in just because that is the easiest thing to do.

I pray God keeps your daughter safe and speaks to her heart in a way she has never experienced before.


Cyndi Lacefield said...

Kudos! We do have to pray and give our children to God, but that doesn't mean you should not set your rules and enforce them with consequences.You are doing right.I went through similar things with my sons who did not want to come under authority, and one even at a point told me "I hate you and I dont respect you and I never will." Then I REALLY had to pray. It hurt, but this very same boy is now a young man and a father himself and he tells me ,"Momma ,I love you. I am so sorry, I know why you did it now. " Even if the next few years are rough and some days you think it will break you,(and you probrably will) keep giving her and your pain to God, He will see you through and your daughter too! Again, I love your posts! : )


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