Friends that want to hang out

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Daughter Choose Your Friends Wisely

When my daughters were younger everything I said in their minds was a fact. I knew everything and I was always right.. They never questioned whether I was right or wrong... I was the final authority... or dad was... Those were the easy days...
Now my girls are older... not quite teenagers but close enough... and now I KNOW NOTHING!!! Whatever their twelve year old friends state as fact...must be true..... I'm considered old fashioned and out of touch with reality..... WOW... They have decided that they have the right to question what I say to be a fact or not....since I am so old......
What is really concerning me today is the friends my oldest daughter chooses... Remember both of my children go to Church every Sunday, go to a Christian school, and live in a Christian home....but somehow my #1 daughter likes to hang out with kids whose idea of fun is tohave a boyfriend, go on dates (just wondering how they get there..on their bikes?), make out, sneak behind their parents' backs, and having a baby sounds really cool...
Yesterday, my eldest told me her friends think that I shelter her too much..... SHE'S TWELVE YEARS OLD!!! Of course I am going to shelter her... There is no way....she's going on date.. there's no way she's going to go make out, and having a baby.....Lord help me. She is angry with me that I will not allow her to "hang out" with her friends at their homes..... I said she can invite her friends here.... but I will not open the door for my kid to sneak behind my back and possibly do things that she would regret later. I will not back down on this.. God gave me this very important responsibility to raise my kids right and I take my role as a mother very seriously.
What really angers me is the parents of these kids. Many are single parents whose priorities have switched from being a parent to taking care of their own wants and needs.... One friend in particular has a mom that is looking for a boyfriend and is never home leaving her daughter home by herself..... In the daughters loneliness, she started hanging out with a much older boys and her home has become the "party hangout".. She's TWELVE!!!! My daughter thinks it's cool.. I feel sorry for this little girl who is looking for attention and love in the wrong places..
I had a heart to heart with my beautiful and incredibly special daughter and this is what I said... I remember being twelve years old... I remember how it felt to want to fit it...I remember how important my friends were to me and how important their opinions were. Kids have not changed since I was your age...granted you dress better and have more toys but the emotions are basically the same. You are an incredible kid with so much going for you. I see the love you have for the Lord and I see your is a big one...But honey, you have to open the door for new friends to enter.. You have to put yourself out there to find a true friend...not someone who will tear you down...but someone who will lift you up.. You need people in your life that have good morals and things in common with you... like keeping good grades like you do, playing tennis, reading books, same taste in music, and they love God with all their hearts just like you... It is a fact that whatever we surround ourselves with, who ever we hang out with, and whatever we fill our minds what we will become... I am not saying to be mean to the girls you have been hanging out with.. I am saying that you need to fix your thoughts on what is true and honorable and right. Think about things that are pure and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. Philippians 4:8 (paraphrased).
I don't know if I got through to my loved one....But I do know that I am covering her in prayer and I will not, I repeat I will not lift up that shelter...


Dawn Cartwright said...

I hear you! Having raised two daughters, I continue to use Stormy O'Martian's Power of a Praying Parent. One a college grad, one in college, I think I need it more now than ever! One of the best things I did with my one daughter was a mother/daughter Bible study. Pray for like minded friends/mother's that you could do that with. Somehow kids listen more if it comes from someone else other than their mother. I know my daughter had 7 other loving Christian women that were praying for her and helping her see the right path.
Your writing it inspiring!

Alaska-womom said...

We have two Debbies we have prayed for for years, and we promice to add your Debbie to our prayers.
J. and Family


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