Hard to believe a year ago this month - my husband was laid off... He was home for six months.... During that six month time - I worked more than I had ever worked... By the grace of God - I was able to support our family during this time. My small business took flight and I had more clients than I could handle...... It was a difficult time for me mentally... physically... I was working 7 days a week.. Over 12 hours a day... I refused to turn down business - I was on over-drive... I was too busy thinking about me... poor me... No time for me... I was too selfish to see God in the middle of this... I was too blind to see that my husband was struggling... I was too stressed to see my kids suffering from lack of attention from me and from my husband... All I saw was I was making money and we needed money and that was that.... And today - thinking about that time... I am ashamed..... God provided for our needs... He was there.... I tried to take control away from Him.. and in that power struggle - I missed out on a summer with my kids... I missed out on spending some good one on one time with my husband.. He was home... He had time for me... And I blew it!
Today - I tried to talk to the husband. It's tough at times... His main focus now is work.. He loves his job - but it's a really busy job... Taking him away from home every week... And when he is home - he is still working..... And when he isn't working -he wants to relax.. His relaxation is golf... watching sports... browsing Ebay... He does not want to get into conversations about the day to day trials of raising strong minded teenagers.. He does not want to hear his wife nag.. He wants his family "happy" - He wants everything in its place... And to tell you the truth - it pisses me off! I want my husband's attention.. I want him to be a part of our family.... I miss my husband.. and my kids miss their dad....
My point is not to throw my husband under the bus.. He is a good man.. He is a good father.. He is a good provider... My point is that like me -He has become blind to what's around him... He is self focused... and I am not doing a good job of turning his focus towards me.. towards us.... Getting in his face about his lack of attention and time
God's original design for the family will not be destroyed. Right now we may be struggling with our relationships - We live in a sinful world.. But God does promise us that He will wipe away every tear... All through the Bible there is so much encouragement... Reading Ephesians is a good thing for me to read today....
I have no doubt that all will turn around.. I believe in my man... and I know without a doubt that God is in Control and is on our side.....
