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Saturday, March 5, 2011

Struggling With Work.. Family.. Time...


Hard to believe a year ago this month - my husband was laid off... He was home for six months.... During that six month time - I worked more than I had ever worked... By the grace of God - I was able to support our family during this time. My small business took flight and I had more clients than I could handle...... It was a difficult time for me mentally... physically... I was working 7 days a week.. Over 12 hours a day... I refused to turn down business - I was on over-drive... I was too busy thinking about me... poor me... No time for me... I was too selfish to see God in the middle of this... I was too blind to see that my husband was struggling... I was too stressed to see my kids suffering from lack of attention from me and from my husband... All I saw was I was making money and we needed money and that was that.... And today - thinking about that time... I am ashamed..... God provided for our needs... He was there.... I tried to take control away from Him.. and in that power struggle - I missed out on a summer with my kids... I missed out on spending some good one on one time with my husband.. He was home... He had time for me... And I blew it!

Today - I tried to talk to the husband. It's tough at times... His main focus now is work.. He loves his job - but it's a really busy job... Taking him away from home every week... And when he is home - he is still working..... And when he isn't working -he wants to relax.. His relaxation is golf... watching sports... browsing Ebay... He does not want to get into conversations about the day to day trials of raising strong minded teenagers.. He does not want to hear his wife nag.. He wants his family "happy" - He wants everything in its place... And to tell you the truth - it pisses me off! I want my husband's attention.. I want him to be a part of our family.... I miss my husband.. and my kids miss their dad....

My point is not to throw my husband under the bus.. He is a good man.. He is a good father.. He is a good provider... My point is that like me -He has become blind to what's around him... He is self focused... and I am not doing a good job of turning his focus towards me.. towards us.... Getting in his face about his lack of attention and time does will not work.. I need to turn to God... I need to give Him control... I need to allow God to turn this around...

God's original design for the family will not be destroyed. Right now we may be struggling with our relationships - We live in a sinful world.. But God does promise us that He will wipe away every tear... All through the Bible there is so much encouragement... Reading Ephesians is a good thing for me to read today....

I have no doubt that all will turn around.. I believe in my man... and I know without a doubt that God is in Control and is on our side.....

6 comments:

Cyndi Lacefield said...

Oh Kelly,
I just got done with a difficult 'converstaion' with my DH too. He got laid off last summer and he handled it fairly well, I do not work though due to a disability, but just like you God got us through. He went back to work in Nov. and we have our bills paid ,but no extra and he just complains and complains. When he was laid off he spent every day reading extra time in the word, and he just had peace. He was bored, but he was not unpleasant. Now he is.. waaa waaa waaa. I am so frustrated. It is difficult for two people to be in the same emotional place at the same time. I am trying to deal with it,but at times I just get to a point where I end up confronting him on his attitude, but as DH just got through telling me as I told him how I felt he was acting and being ungrateful, that he takes it much better from God, than me.And after many years togehter we both enjoy very different down time activities, and our children are grown so the "FAMILY outings " are few. We used to at least have that, but now we are sometimes like two roomates coming and going doing our own things. SO I Understand much of where you are at!!
Things will be o.k. I will back up, seek God and ask him to work this out, and probrably , in the future sometime I'll have the whineys and he will get tired of me!! Oh, you gotta love life!!! Will put you guys on Prayer list, you do the same for us, k? Blessings, Cyndi Ps am sending a FB request : )

rcubes said...

I just got done reading the Nehemiah and you're so right how God is faithful for His people. Just like when His people rebuilt the Temple, we must not allow any part of our Temple (body) exposed to enemies' attacks. Discouragement and fear are usually the enemies' tactics. But we have God's weapons and strength to use to overcome any attacks/trials.

Praying for your hubby and you sister. The Lord's work in each of us will prevail.

I wasn't gonna' go online and when my husband insisted and I read the comments, I'm glad I did because I saw your request and will keep your mom in my prayers. Please pray for me also sister as I continue to be in a huge battle at work. To God be the glory. May you be comforted by His everlasting kindness. God bless and love to you.

THE OLD GEEZER said...

Amen Kelly! God is the blessed controller of ALL things in heaven and on earth. I pray that you continue to keep your eyes on Jesus during these tough times :-)

JT said...

Talk with God, especially in tough times, and He will answer your prayers. May God Bless You.

Jayne said...

I once heard a preacher tell this story from his life and because of your article, I am reminded of this good advice. Good advice that I definitely needed right now:

One day, this preacher woke and his wife had made herself breakfast and then exited the kitchen. She wasn't rude about it and it wasn't done purposefully.

However, he began to whine and complain to the Lord about how his wife didn't notice his need and make his breakfast. She didn't love him.

He said the Lord told him, "You stop worrying about how she treats you. That's none of your business, that's Mine. You worry about how you treat her."

Real Life In A Minute said...

It's complicated isn't it. My DH is having a particularly hard time at work right now. He is quite tender when it comes to work, and, I feel, overreacts to almost everything there. It is hard to be around negative energy.
Sandra
"Inspiration To Lead Healthier And Wealthier Lives."

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