What do you do - When you love God but you're also so mad at Him - that you want to back away from Him? You are so angry - that you back away from church - your core group of Christian friends - your devotionals? This is where I have been the past three (3) weeks... I'm angry... But even through my anger - He made His presence and His love known to me.....
We have been going through our first serious trials of being a parent to a teen - A teen that decided she knew best... A teen that created such a mess that she could not find her way out... Instead of seeking help from us her parents - she decided to take out her anger on us.... She covered her fear and lack of control by being rebellious and disrespectful....
Before things started to spiral out of control - my daughter had left a message with the dean of girls at her school... She wanted to talk to her about something... Due to the busyness of the end of the year school activities - the dean did not get back to her for over a week...
God's timing is Perfect!!!! This is what the dean said when she called me after her discussion with my kid... This is what happened:
The dean finally called my daughter in to talk and my kid was mad...The first thing my daughter said is this, "I know why you called me in here - I don't know why my mom can't stay out of my business!" The dean advised my daughter she had no idea what she was talking about... She said that she called my daughter in because she had left a note that she wanted to talk.... My kid was shocked.... The dean asked her if she wanted to talk about what she meant... At first my kid said no and then all of a sudden everything came out... This huge weight was lifted off my kid's shoulders... The secret burdens she was hiding were freed and when my daughter came home and we talked - we cried together... and the healing started.....
You see - if the dean had called my kid in earlier - it would not have helped what had happened later... I was at a loss - I was so fearful for my daughter.... But God - opened that door of communication.. He knew I was desperate .... He knew my kid needed me.... He showed me He loved me regardless of how I was feeling about Him.... He is much bigger than my human emotions.. .. His love is far greater than I could ever imagine... I am in awe... I am humbled..
Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. if I rise on the wings of dawn if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast. Psalm 139:7-9
