I Just Want To Be Happy

How many times have you heard someone say - "I just want to be happy."? This statement will often follow a divorce... a separation... It will many times follow an action that may have been a huge and life changing event. I remember the day I filed for divorce... I left the attorney's office and got into my car... I called my sister on the phone and I was crying hysterically ... I remember telling her that all I wanted was to be happy... and my husband wasn't doing it.... I canceled the divorce proceedings two years later and it took a lot of soul searching and praying to learn that Dusty (my husband) was not responsible for my happiness.... I punished him for twenty years for not living up to my unrealistic expectations... and I am truly sorry for that....

I recently found a journal that I had kept when Dusty and I were dating... I had forgotten the pure joy I had with him.. The constant laughter.. I had forgotten what made me fall in love with him... Dusty could make me laugh like no other.... He would tell these stories that were so outrageous and the way he told them would keep my complete attention... He drew me in like a fly to honey..... Even to this day - Dusty is the most funny and smartest man I have ever known... and somewhere over the past 21 years - I had forgotten that...

As I have matured in my age and in my faith and in my marriage - I have learned that happiness is ever changing... My expectations are changing.... My wants and needs and the way I love have changed.... Dusty and I are no longer the very young twenty somethings from years and years ago.... thank goodness - I like who we are today... and the last few weeks - We have spent an abnormal amount of time together... and it's fun to rediscover the laughter we once had... He's a funny guy, my man....

Romans 12:10 Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other.