Monday, August 10, 2009
Love Is Not Merely A Feeling
Love as distinct from "being in love" is not merely a feeling. It is a deep unity, maintained by the will and deliberately strengthen by habit; reinforced by (in Christian marriages) the grace which both partners ask, and receive from God. They can have this love for each other even at those moments when they do not like each other; as you love yourself even when you do not like yourself. They can retain this love even when each would easily, if they allowed themselves, be "in love" with someone else. "Being in love" first moved them to promise fidelity: this quieter love enables them to keep the promise. It is on this love that the engine of marriage is run: being in love was the explosion that started it. C. S. Lewis
Before I was married a good friend of mine also known as my sister, Debbie gave me some great advice... She said - every morning to make a commitment to love my husband that day - whether I wanted to or not..... She said to look in the mirror and say, "I will love Dusty today".. It was great advise... it would have been much better if I took it... It took me twenty (20) years to get it... Twenty years I wasted being a toxic wife..... and I wish I could have those twenty years back...
I am so thankful for the 2nd, third, and 578 chances to make it right... To make the choice to love.. It's funny - how really easy it is for me.... for us... Granted there are still many days that I just want to kick him in the butt for being a testosterone filled jerk and I sure there are times he's not too fond of my hormones either.. We fight... I yell and he has his great comebacks.. We have many different interests.. He loves sports... I can't stand to watch them on TV... He is always moving and doing something.. I like to sit and veg... He loves going to the swap meet - I love going to Macy's after Christmas sale.. but somehow in our differences we compliment each other...
Even when I don't like Dusty - I still love him..... That is in my opinion a sure sign of real adult love.. Love the way God intended us to love... Many times we are just not lovable... and still God loves us - warts and all. God does not love us because we are lovable but because he loves.. 1John 4:10 In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins.
Today- I choose to love Dusty. I choose to show him love him unconditionally... the way I am suppose too... the way I want too.
Phil Collins playing Groovy Kind Of Love - our first dance over twenty years ago..