Remembering My Dad On Memorial Day

My dad died last July... He had been sick for a while. He was suffering from the effects of a lifetime of cigarette smoking... Several years ago he had his entire tongue removed due to cancer and shortly after had a heart attack and a stroke.... But he bounced back and to every one's amazement - he recovered somewhat... He lived with a trache and no longer could enjoy the taste of food. His nourishment came in the form a liquid that was inserted into a tube that went directly into his stomach..
He was able to take care of himself while my mom worked during the day... He was self sufficient.. so when my mom decided to fly to Georgia for a couple of days last summer... he was good with it... I also took off on a two week road trip with my kids... Dad was fine.. sure he was declining in health a little but no where near death's door...or so we thought.....
Mom and I took off on the same day in different directions... I believed all was fine and then I get a call a week into my trip.... Dad is in the hospital but it looks like he'll be home in a day or two.... I called at every stop on my road trip and each time he seemed to be okay but still not able to come off the ventilator - the ventilator was something new... for whatever reason a day after we left... he couldn't breathe on his own anymore... it's just one of those sad things...no one's fault but the human way is to try to take the blame... and try to live with a guilt that is misplaced...we play those silly what if games.. What if I stayed.. or what if I got a different doctor....what if... what if.. but the one thing we have to remember is that God is in control and the what ifs we keep asking ourselves and blaming ourselves for is not something we could control... There is a time and place for everything and as hard as it was to say goodbye to my dad... it was his time to be with his Father.... Dad died four days after I returned home.. He waited for all of his family to be with him.
So this weekend is Memorial weekend and my father is front in and center in my mind and in my heart.. Today was a difficult day for my mom, sister, and me.... It was the day of remembrance of a dad and husband who is no longer here... My dad's favorite song was Ava Maria.. so in honor and remembrance of you Dad... this song is for you...