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Monday, September 7, 2009

Surrendering My Pain


Have you ever reached out to someone so many times... only to be rejected? Have you ever wanted to make amends and say "I'm sorry" but the person you want to say it to has turned away.... with eyes and ears closed... Have you ever been so hurt by someone - that you lashed back - only to realize that your actions and anger was not the right thing to do.... it only causes more pain..

What do you do when the person you love... you need - doesn't love or need you back? Doesn't know how to forgive.... Doesn't want to forgive.... Doesn't know how to love.... Doesn't want to love.... Do you let it fester? Do you just leave it alone? Do you keep trying? Do you turn your back too?

I am lucky to have great loving people in my world... I have encouragers... prayer warriors... sisters in Christ.... People who understand pain..... People who love unconditionally.. People who know how to forgive and forget... People who teach me about the woman, mother, sister, daughter, and friend I want to be....

This year has been a time of soul searching.... a time of letting go.... a time of being real... a time of finding the answers... a time of strengthening my walk with Jesus... a time of appreciating the people in my life..... a time of loving my husband better... a time of setting an example for my daughters.....

I recently shared my story with a person very close to me... Shared the pain I have been enduring for the past year.... How to deal with it.... How to let it go.... Her advice is something that I feel was the right answer... for me....

I need to surrender my pain to God..... I need to trust God in every aspect of my life... I need to release the one who cannot love.. cannot forgive... cannot forget.... I need to give all this to God.. I need to be humble... and admit that Jesus is Lord... that He is God and that I am not... I need to release this pain that I have been holding on to so tightly and just let Him have it.... God wants us to give Him our sadness, our worry, our hurt, and pain...

Today - I have given this person to God.... What is meant to be.. will be... I cannot control the outcome.. I no longer want to try.... I have surrendered and where that leads.. God only knows and I have my trust.. my complete trust in Him... I'm looking up......



7 comments:

Alaska-womom said...

I really loved this post because it is somethig so real. How easy would it be if it were perfect. Is this the refining fire? Thanks Kelly.

RCUBEs said...

Great thing to do...to surrender it to the Lord. And let Him deal with it. The battle is His. And when you forgive, that's what pleases Him.

May the Lord heal and restore where there is a broken bond. And His love be the glue to hold that after. Blessings to you.

~*~KIMBERLY~*~ said...

My story summary is here:
http://kaeakingskid.blogspot.com/2009/08/miracle-from-god.html

I do relate to this post. Amen!

Steve said...

Good post, and there is a lot of good questions that we can ask ourselves like, have we really give all our problems over to Him? I must confess, I don't believe I have. There are still some things in my life that I need to give to Him, and stop trying to handle it on my own. I've even stood in church and sung that old song, I surrender all, knowing that I'm telling a lie to myself. Pray that all of us would surrender all, to the LORD.

9uy said...

What a powerful testimony of faith. The less we consider ourselves strong the stronger we become.

Shayla said...

Great Post!

I had a tough situation (before I was saved) where I had a falling out with my best friend. it took 6 years, but now that we have both come to know Christ and His forgiveness we were able to truly heal that wound. I am going to her wedding next month :)

I know dealing with others can be SO tough ecspecially when both people are hurt. I am SO glad that you are giving it to the Lord- He's pretty big...I would bet that He can take care of it ;-)

~ Judy ~ said...

Sometimes "letting go and letting God" is the hardest thing to do...but He will ALWAYS bless you for it Kelly. I'm sorry for your pain...I pray that you are blessed with PEACE.

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