My Husband - "Mr. Fix It"

My husband is a Professional Manager at work and at life.... We often have discussions about what happened in my day with my business... with the kids. I would share a few things that may have disturbed me - a client not paying his bill on time... one or both of the kids acting out.. a disagreement I may have had with a lender or borrower... Usually when I get around to telling him the story of my day - it's already been "handled" but he can't help but advise me on what I should have said or done... It's not as if I could go back and have a re-do... My husband wants to fix the problem I am having (had) or give a solution or advise on what I should have done or will do in the future... "What can I do for you?" is a standard question.... I hear from him... Many times I do not need him to fix it - many times it cannot be fixed.... And maybe I just don't want it fixed... I just want him to listen to me..

Managers like my husband are natural problem-solvers. Every challenge is an opportunity to be met quickly. With marriage and relationships - problem-solvers are suddenly faced with a challenge that cannot be easily solved or it cannot be solved at all. Dusty (my husband) wants to fix things when they are broken - he wants things to always run smoothly - "well managed" but life - love - marriage is messy... We have definitely called on each others patience and we have learned that patience in marriage works a lot like faith... Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. Hebrews 11:1. Dusty may want to fix it - but he is learning that listening to me.. having patience with me may be all the fixing something needs... I am learning that - I should listen to Dusty's advise (he is a very smart man) and who knows I just might gain more knowledge and/or wisdom the next time I have a conflict...

The longer we are married the more practice we are getting - soon we will be reaching the Twenty-two years of marriage mark - hard to believe.. I'm thinking we may be closer to "perfection" in another twenty-two years - What do you think?

*Picture from Picasa

Struggling With Intimacy

For the last few months I have been struggling with my relationships... My relationship with my husband... with my friends... and with My God... I have found myself backing away... Wanting to be alone... Many of those who don't know me intimately probably would not notice the change... I can be subtle... But my closest friends.. Those who help to hold me accountable - see it... feel it...

I have been finding reasons not to go to church... not to journal.. not to pray.. I have been making excuses to my family... my friends.. and my God... Excuses for not being completely there... In many ways - I have been completely absent... Today - I had obligations and made myself get up and go to church and quite honestly I did not want to be there... I was going through the motions...

Today - I opened up to a friend... something I rarely do.... I shared what I have been going through... I am not angry at God... but I have been bored... I wasn't allowing Him to fill my needs any longer.. I have been seeking worldly desires... Worldly intimacies... Today - I noticed that the more I was avoiding Him... the more my joy was fleeing... The joy that I found in His word... in His presence... was just a memory.... I was not allowing myself to be intimate with Him.... Today - my friend shared that she was going through some of the same emotions..... Isn't it funny how He puts others in our path that can share and empathize with us.. Women who are also struggling in their relationships.. I think God loves us so much that He doesn't want us to be alone.. He wants us to find Him through and with others...

We are still studying Crazy Love by Francis Chan... To be perfectly honest - I had not read the chapter we were going to discuss tonight... The title of this week's chapter is 'When You're In - Love'..... The basic premise of the chapter was how to create that intimacy with our Father...I had not prepared myself for tonight's lesson - and leave it to Him to open the book to exactly what He wanted me to see....

Excerpt from Crazy Love - Chapter Six

SomeOne I Can Be Real With

If you merely pretend to enjoy God or love Him, He knows. You can't fool Him; don't even try. Instead, tell Him how you feel. Tell Him that He isn't the most important thing in this life to you, and that you're sorry for that. Tell Him that you've been lukewarm, that you've chosen (whatever it is) over Him time and again. Tell Him that you want Him to change you, that you long to genuinely enjoy Him. Tell Him how you want to experience true satisfaction and pleasure and joy in your relationship with Him. Tell Him you want to love Him more than anything on this Earth. Tell Him you want to treasure the kingdom of heaven so much that you'd willingly sell everything in order to get it. Tell Him what you like about Him, what you appreciate, and what brings you joy...