Reach Out And Don't Give Up!

When do you stop reaching out to a loved one?? When do you give up? Should you give up? Have you ever reach out to someone and the olive branch that you tried to give was rejected? Do you leave it up to them to reach out to you next? I know that it hurts when your love is not accepted or returned.. It feels awful - but we cannot give up...

Can you imagine giving up on your teenager when they treat you like the enemy? Or your baby that cries and refuses to be comforted? No, we do not... We may become frustrated.. angry - but we don't give up because we love our children unconditionally.... and as followers of Christ are we not told to love our enemies? Are we not told to give mercy?... What does mercy really mean anyway???? To forgive when it is not deserved.

"Love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return; and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High; for He Himself is kind to ungrateful and evil men" Luke 6:35

You can and should give undeserved love (reaching out) to your loved ones because God gave undeserved love to you and to me... Love is often expressed the most to those who deserve it the least...

Keep reaching - You might be surprised one day....

He Loved Me - Even When I Was Mad At Him...

What do you do - When you love God but you're also so mad at Him - that you want to back away from Him? You are so angry - that you back away from church - your core group of Christian friends - your devotionals? This is where I have been the past three (3) weeks... I'm angry... But even through my anger - He made His presence and His love known to me.....

We have been going through our first serious trials of being a parent to a teen - A teen that decided she knew best... A teen that created such a mess that she could not find her way out... Instead of seeking help from us her parents - she decided to take out her anger on us.... She covered her fear and lack of control by being rebellious and disrespectful....

Before things started to spiral out of control - my daughter had left a message with the dean of girls at her school... She wanted to talk to her about something... Due to the busyness of the end of the year school activities - the dean did not get back to her for over a week...

God's timing is Perfect!!!! This is what the dean said when she called me after her discussion with my kid... This is what happened:

The dean finally called my daughter in to talk and my kid was mad...The first thing my daughter said is this, "I know why you called me in here - I don't know why my mom can't stay out of my business!" The dean advised my daughter she had no idea what she was talking about... She said that she called my daughter in because she had left a note that she wanted to talk.... My kid was shocked.... The dean asked her if she wanted to talk about what she meant... At first my kid said no and then all of a sudden everything came out... This huge weight was lifted off my kid's shoulders... The secret burdens she was hiding were freed and when my daughter came home and we talked - we cried together... and the healing started.....

You see - if the dean had called my kid in earlier - it would not have helped what had happened later... I was at a loss - I was so fearful for my daughter.... But God - opened that door of communication.. He knew I was desperate .... He knew my kid needed me.... He showed me He loved me regardless of how I was feeling about Him.... He is much bigger than my human emotions.. .. His love is far greater than I could ever imagine... I am in awe... I am humbled..

Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. if I rise on the wings of dawn if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast. Psalm 139:7-9

I Just Want To Be Happy

How many times have you heard someone say - "I just want to be happy."? This statement will often follow a divorce... a separation... It will many times follow an action that may have been a huge and life changing event. I remember the day I filed for divorce... I left the attorney's office and got into my car... I called my sister on the phone and I was crying hysterically ... I remember telling her that all I wanted was to be happy... and my husband wasn't doing it.... I canceled the divorce proceedings two years later and it took a lot of soul searching and praying to learn that Dusty (my husband) was not responsible for my happiness.... I punished him for twenty years for not living up to my unrealistic expectations... and I am truly sorry for that....

I recently found a journal that I had kept when Dusty and I were dating... I had forgotten the pure joy I had with him.. The constant laughter.. I had forgotten what made me fall in love with him... Dusty could make me laugh like no other.... He would tell these stories that were so outrageous and the way he told them would keep my complete attention... He drew me in like a fly to honey..... Even to this day - Dusty is the most funny and smartest man I have ever known... and somewhere over the past 21 years - I had forgotten that...

As I have matured in my age and in my faith and in my marriage - I have learned that happiness is ever changing... My expectations are changing.... My wants and needs and the way I love have changed.... Dusty and I are no longer the very young twenty somethings from years and years ago.... thank goodness - I like who we are today... and the last few weeks - We have spent an abnormal amount of time together... and it's fun to rediscover the laughter we once had... He's a funny guy, my man....

Romans 12:10 Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other.

Struggling With Intimacy

For the last few months I have been struggling with my relationships... My relationship with my husband... with my friends... and with My God... I have found myself backing away... Wanting to be alone... Many of those who don't know me intimately probably would not notice the change... I can be subtle... But my closest friends.. Those who help to hold me accountable - see it... feel it...

I have been finding reasons not to go to church... not to journal.. not to pray.. I have been making excuses to my family... my friends.. and my God... Excuses for not being completely there... In many ways - I have been completely absent... Today - I had obligations and made myself get up and go to church and quite honestly I did not want to be there... I was going through the motions...

Today - I opened up to a friend... something I rarely do.... I shared what I have been going through... I am not angry at God... but I have been bored... I wasn't allowing Him to fill my needs any longer.. I have been seeking worldly desires... Worldly intimacies... Today - I noticed that the more I was avoiding Him... the more my joy was fleeing... The joy that I found in His word... in His presence... was just a memory.... I was not allowing myself to be intimate with Him.... Today - my friend shared that she was going through some of the same emotions..... Isn't it funny how He puts others in our path that can share and empathize with us.. Women who are also struggling in their relationships.. I think God loves us so much that He doesn't want us to be alone.. He wants us to find Him through and with others...

We are still studying Crazy Love by Francis Chan... To be perfectly honest - I had not read the chapter we were going to discuss tonight... The title of this week's chapter is 'When You're In - Love'..... The basic premise of the chapter was how to create that intimacy with our Father...I had not prepared myself for tonight's lesson - and leave it to Him to open the book to exactly what He wanted me to see....

Excerpt from Crazy Love - Chapter Six

SomeOne I Can Be Real With

If you merely pretend to enjoy God or love Him, He knows. You can't fool Him; don't even try. Instead, tell Him how you feel. Tell Him that He isn't the most important thing in this life to you, and that you're sorry for that. Tell Him that you've been lukewarm, that you've chosen (whatever it is) over Him time and again. Tell Him that you want Him to change you, that you long to genuinely enjoy Him. Tell Him how you want to experience true satisfaction and pleasure and joy in your relationship with Him. Tell Him you want to love Him more than anything on this Earth. Tell Him you want to treasure the kingdom of heaven so much that you'd willingly sell everything in order to get it. Tell Him what you like about Him, what you appreciate, and what brings you joy...

Knock That Christian Chip Off Your Shoulder

I have often heard the quote "Hate the Sin - Love the Sinner".. Often times it is said when a Christian is talking about a gay person.. Basically saying that the gay person is sinning but we'll love them anyway.... But are we not all sinners? Wouldn't that quote apply to all of us? Why only pick one sin? Is being gay a bigger sin than killing? Lying? Lusting? I believe Sin is Sin... and I know that I am a sinner and I hope others still love me... God's standards are much higher than ours... what we may believe to be innocent flirting... in God's eyes we're having an affair....

I remember years ago when I was taking a class about how to talk to Jehovah Witnesses- a comment was said that I will remember to the day I die.... "If you want to glorify God - you have to take that Huge Christian Chip off your shoulder...." I took that quote to heart because it can be frustrating when you are discussing your faith.. your beliefs and others don't agree.... I have learned over time -the best witnesses is to live by example... don't point fingers... don't dismiss what others believe... but live your life on fire for God because when others notice that fire burning inside of you- they are going to want to be burnt...

We live in a time that was predicted over 2000 years ago... A time where everything is okay... Nothing is shocking any longer... Morals and and acceptance is no longer in alignment... and as followers of Christ - we cannot buy into this common life - a free for all... We must live an uncommon life... by living our lives not of this world... but of His... and we need to get that Christian chip off of our shoulders and love because He first loved us... Get on Fire... and stop saying those silly cliches.... "Hate the Sin - Love the Sinner" because we are all sinners.....

Romans 3:23 For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God

I Choose To Love My Husband

Tomorrow I will be celebrating 21 years of marriage.... It's hard to believe that I have spent over half of my life with this man.... I met Dusty shortly before my 21st birthday - I cannot say it was love at first sight... But I can say - I fell in love with him because he made me laugh.... He had a kindness and sense of humor that made him hard to resist.... But shortly after the "I do" everything just seemed to fall apart..

If you have read ever read my other blog - I've Become My Mother - you would know that we did not have a happily ever after marriage.. in fact - we hated each other for most of our marriage... I know hate is a very strong word - but I believe it is the word that described us..... I did not know how to love him... and he did not know how to love me either.... We were two people who married too soon and did not know what to do... so we became roommates that were raising two incredible kids together...

A few years ago - I filed for divorce - paid the attorney way too much money- called my pastor - and cried.... I believed this was the right thing to do... I was done... I felt I had wasted my life and it was time to start all over.... This is when Dusty realized that he loved his family... not necessary me - but he did not want to lose the family we had created together.... My pastor helped by telling Dusty this... "I believe in marriage.... no one ever wants a divorce.. no one... Kelly is serious about this and I think it would be a good idea to give her time.... Sometimes - marriage can be like a sprained ankle - in order to have it heal.... you got to take the weight off of it.... " Dusty - moved out and tried to give me the time I needed.... I let him move back the day after Christmas.... Not because I wanted our marriage to work.. but because I felt bad for him... We went back into our destructive circle for another year until.....

I kept hearing about this movie called Fireproof and how it had a book in the movie that helped to save marriages... I was hoping to learn a "fool proof" way to save my marriage... My church decided to have a Fireproof series - not only was the sermon based on marriage... the Sunday school lessons were based on it too.... The first day - we watched the movie together... I don't think a movie has ever hit me so hard... I saw me... I saw Dusty in both of the characters.. The movie opened my eyes - a little... To take it one step further - I was shopping at Sam's Club and there was the book - The Love Dare - the book from movie.....

I bought The Dare - and it took me on journey that I cannot describe... I learned how to love Dusty - for the first time, really.... It came down to choices... How God wanted me to love.... Once I was able to grasp the concept - the emotions and the feelings followed suit.... The amazing thing is that - after a while Dusty saw a difference in me.. and wanted more.... He learned how to love through my actions... You can follow my journey in I've Become my Mother - Day One. I have learned that it is easy to fall back on destructive behavior... Dusty and I are not in the best place today.... Not because I don't love him... I do... We... no I have gotten too busy... too lazy to work on Love...

So today - I am going to do The Love Dare again... Today - I choose to love my husband.... I love you, Honey... and I choose you...

Love Dare Day 22 - "Love is a choice, not a feeling.. It is an initiated action, not a knee-jerk reaction. Choose today to be committed to love even if your spouse has lost most of their interest in receiving it. Say to them today in words similar to these. "I love you. Period... I choose to love you even if you don't love me in return" I truly believe - at least I believe now in this season in my life - it's never too late to love..

To Love No Matter What

Have you ever just wanted to give up on someone? Have you ever gotten so tired of the constant subtle rejections that you just want to lash out? Have you ever felt like you have given your all to this person (s) and no matter what you say... no matter what you do.... nothing matters? This is how I sometimes feel - sometimes I just want to lash out and ask them "Why?" "Why do you want to be indifferent? Why do you act like I don't matter?"

This Christmas I was hurt once again by yet another indifferent snub - I don't think this person goes out of their way to hurt me - I do believe this person does not know how to love unless there are conditions... I do believe this person is afraid to be vulnerable... afraid to put themselves out there.. And in that fear they hurt others..... I can't control the way this person feels or acts... I can't control the hurt that I feel but I can control the way I react.. I can control what I say and what I do.....

The Bible tells us to love one another.. to forgive one another... The Bible does not tell us to give up after a certain amount of time... the opposite in fact.

Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. Colossians 3:13

Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?" Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times. Matthew 18:21-22

We love because he first loved us. Those who say, "I love God," and hate their brothers or sisters, are liars; for those who do not love a brother or sister whom they have seen, cannot love God whom they have not seen. The commandment we have from him is this: those who love God must love their brothers and sisters also.
1 John 4:19-21

God does not give up on us..... In my quest to be closer to God.. a follower of Christ I need to keep loving.. keep trying to break down those barriers.... To love no matter what -

The Art Of Patience

First off - I am not a patient person... I am always in a hurry - I want everything now - I won't stand in long lines (unless I have too) - I won't wait at a restaurant more than 15 minutes (no food is worth it to me) I like many others want instant gratification... In today's world that's what it is all about, isn't it. I want it now... I get it now.... and there you go....

Years ago my mom gave me a coffee cup that said - "Lord, grant me patience and grant it right now!" Even then at the ripe young age of 21 - I lacked patience... It is not a secret that I lack the patience gene... Get me behind of the wheel of a car and you'll see me in action... I'm not a dangerous driver... but when someone who drives extremely slow happens to pop in my lane... The passengers in my car will often hear me grumble... call the driver a "Bubba" or talk about the nuisances of bad drivers on the road -

I once heard someone say "Don't pray to God for patience because He will give you something to gain patience with" I have learned that God is a patient teacher... a patient Father and yes I do believe that He gives us opportunities to learn... learn to love... learn to empathize, and learn to be patient... I think when I became a parent was my first lesson in patience.... As the years go by I find myself growing in patience... growing in tolerance... growing in understanding. I think the closer you get to Him and the deeper your relationship becomes with Him the better the opportunity to gain the ability to be a more patient person.. a more spiritual person.. a more Christ driven person..

I can give you a load of baloney and tell you that I have gained all the patience I need but that would not be truthful.. I am a work in progress. I know I have become more patient with the people in my life.... But behind the wheel... well that is a different kind of patience....

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preserves."
-- 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

The Rule of Love

The Rule of Love

" The rule for all of us is perfectly simple. Do not waste time bothering whether you Love your neighbor: act as if you did. As soon as we do this we find one of the greatest secrets. when you are behaving as if you loved someone, you will presently come to love him. If you injure someone you dislike, you will find yourself disliking him more. If you do him a good turn, you will find yourself disliking him less."

C.S. Lewis (Mere Christianity)

Jesus said in Mark 12:29-31 The first of all commandments is 'Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one. And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength.' This is the first commandment. And the second, like it, is this: 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no other commandment greater than these."

When Is It Cheating?

One of my favorite movies is Fireproof - as many of you may know - 'The Love Dare' in that movie saved my marriage.... seriously it did... I posted my 40 day journey into 'happily ever after' on my blog I've Become My Mother.... One of the things that the movie showed is how easy an innocent relationship can turn into a possible affair.... One of the many things that the Bible teaches us is that we are to bring honor to our husbands... wives.. We are to love... cherish..... We are to stay away from temptation... We are to put our spouses above all others....

"Have you not read that He who made them in the beginning made them male and female, and said, 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh?' So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate." Matthew 19:4-6.

In today's world - divorce is common - being remarried over and over again is common - having kids without marriage is common.... Staying married and adultery free is uncommon - isn't it strange how much the world has changed?

So my question to you is this... What would you consider inappropriate behavior... ? What do you consider cheating? When I asked this question to a few of my friends the other day - we were all surprised on how different our answers were.... It made for a great conversation..... and a lot of laughs....

Is it cheating to accept an old girlfriend or boyfriend as a friend on Facebook?
Is it cheating to look at a beautiful woman or man?
Is it cheating to have lunch with a co-worker? a client?
Is it cheating to see an old flame (innocently) and not tell your spouse?
Is it cheating to watch porn?

It kind of makes you think doesn't it??? Where do you draw the line? Or do you draw one? I'm curious - send me a comment - What do you think?

What this clip - it says it all..

The Burning Bush

Last weekend I was at my church's women retreat..... It started off good - well, sort of... not really..... I was sick... boy was I sick.. I tried to talk myself out of being sick but things just kind of got worse.... I ended up going home the last night and missing out on the following morning's activities.. Sunday morning... Sunday afternoon.... and Sunday night - My back was glued to the bed and couch.... I'm still not doing great..... I have a bugger of a cold....

You know when you are not feeling well and you find it difficult to concentrate on things? That is how it was for me most of my weekend.... I enjoyed the women I was with... A great bunch of girls that I am glad to know..... There were a couple of wonderful testimonies..... But the video segments about killed me... or put me to sleep... Until.. I heard the term burning bush... The author of the book Organic God, Margaret Feinburg was talking about when Moses went up the mountain and saw the Burning Bush of God... What would have happened if he just walked by and did not pay attention... If he refused to acknowledge that Burning Bush.... if he refused to acknowledge God...?

Ms. Feinburg took the "Burning Bush" analogy one step further.... How many times in our lives have we had the opportunity to glorify God (burning bush) and not do it? How many times have we spoken with someone who was reaching for help and not acknowledge it? How many times have we been too busy in our own lives to do God's work? How many times have we walked by a burning bush?

I loved that analogy - I found it eye opening..... and very thought provoking.... I know I have been guilty of walking by a few burning bushes because I did not have the time..... What if God did not have the time for me???

We as Christians have to see those burning bushes.... We need to glorify God in any way we can.... We need to make the time...... We need to acknowledge that burning bush....

Acceptance and Judgment

One of the things that bothers me in today's society is that if you don't accept something... if you don't adopt a certain way of thinking... then you are considered a hater... a judge..... non-christian... or a "judgmental better than thou Christian"... This way of thinking drives me crazy....

I have my beliefs and my beliefs do not necessarily go with the "politically correct" way society is today... But one thing that must be understood is this: Because my beliefs and my value system is different than some... that does not mean I judge them... it does not mean I condemn them.... it does not mean I hate them.. It does mean that I do not agree with them and I choose to live my life differently...

Acceptance and Judgment has a very fine line..

I don't believe in having kids before marriage.... but I would never point my finger at someone and judge them... I would never condemn them.. their children.. that is a ridiculous thought...

I don't agree with gay marriages.. I believe a marriage is between one man and one woman... but I would never tell a gay couple that they are wrong.. I would never place them in a defensive or hurtful position... Frankly, a very dear friend of mine married her partner of over 20 years... I love her and her partner... and in that love we respect each others beliefs... it's okay we disagree...

I don't believe in getting so drunk that you lose perceptive.... you lose rational thought.. I do believe drinking is okay in moderation... for some.. But I would never serve alcohol at my home if there was someone there fighting a drinking addiction.... because I do not believe I am being a true friend if I tempted them with something they have a hard time controlling...

I don't believe in sex before marriage... I am not going to pretend that I was innocent the day I got married... so far from it..... way way far from it... and I have had to pay the price for my indiscretions. Having to fight precancerous problems for the rest of my life because I slept with the wrong guy in college over 20 years ago... Not being able to give my husband that special gift of myself.... I hope and pray that my girls will use better judgment than I did..

I do believe in love.... I do believe in acceptance.... I do believe that we were all created by the same God and that we are all brothers and sisters in Christ.... whether you have accepted Him or not... I do believe that regardless of our beliefs and value system we must find a way to accept one another and respect our differences... and not place judgment...

All My Blood..

I read this story many years ago - I wanted to share it with you today.. I hope you are as blessed as I was... and still am..

ALL MY BLOOD

There was a little girl named Liza who was suffering from a rare and serious disease. Her only chance of recovery appeared to be a blood transfusion from her 5-year old brother, who had miraculously survived the same disease and had developed the antibodies, needed to combat the illness.

The doctor explained the situation to her little brother, and asked the boy if he would be willing to give his blood to his sister. I saw him hesitate for only a moment before taking a deep breath and saying, "Yes, I'll do it if it will save Liza."

As the transfusion progressed, he lay in bed next to his sister and smiled, as we all did, seeing the color returning to her cheeks. Then his face grew pale and his smile faded.

He looked up at the doctor and asked with a trembling voice. "Will I start to dies right away?" Being young, the boy had misunderstood the doctor; he thought he was going to have to give her ALL his blood.

Forgiveness Is Freeing...

I have learned over time that if you play the tit for tat game you are going to lose.... Having a one up on someone does not make you a winner - it doesn't make you happy... it puts you on guard for the next tit... the next tat... It does not allow you to show forgiveness... grace - it makes you buy into Satan's game... he wants discord... conflict.... tit for tat games.... he wants hate...... he wants anger...

I have learned that there are many angry and hateful people in the world. People who are looking for the tit for tat games... the one up on you games.... the I'm superior and you are beneath me games.... People who are so sad in their own existence that it makes them feel better to hurt.. belittle... and threaten others.... They remind me of the bully on the playground... I cannot help but feel sorry for these people.. because I know beneath their gruff and hateful exterior they feel helpless and sad inside.... They need to find the peace that only God can give them... They need to release all the bad that is binding their hearts... their lives.... their souls....

No one wants to live a life of pain. No one does..... But many find comfort in their anger... their hate... they may use excuses to give reason for the way they are.... They may have had an abusive parent... an abusive spouse.. friend, relative.. they are ill - they are not appreciated.. they have been abandoned.... there are thousands of reasons and excuses to build anger and hate on - it's all about choices.... We decide if we want to hate and take out our anger on others or we let it go... But the fact remains - everyone has had their share of pain... It is up to us to let go of what others have done or not done to us.....

I will never forget the death of a dear friend's dad.... her dad was an angry and often times an abusive man.. He did and said things to his daughters that no father should ever say or do.... He suffered for many years from cancer and many other smoking relating diseases.. I know that he found comfort in her faith... and in her sister's faith.... I know he found forgiveness.... But on the night he died - he was seeking forgiveness from her sister - he would not let go until he received it... When her sister told him that she forgave him and that she loved him... he became free... she became free..... Forgiving people who have harmed you.... is freeing.. It gives peace... It brings you closer to Christ and in that forgiveness and peace.. You find comfort... Her dad's death changed me... changed her it made us realize that life is so very short and I want to spend it loving others... not hating....

I love this quote about forgiveness from CS Lewis - There is no use in talking as if forgiveness were easy. We all know the old joke, "You've given up smoking once; I've given it up a dozen times." In the same way I could say of a certain man, "Have I forgiven him for what he did that day? I've forgiven him more times than I can count." For we find that the work of forgiveness has to be done over and over again....

God does not love us because we are lovable - many of us are not at times - me included - but He loves us because he loves - that is what He does.... I pray that I can become that person - the person who loves first at all times... that is quick to forgive.... slow to anger.... I pray that more people come to know Jesus and release their the hate and anger that bind them so that they can be free....

Choose Your Family

Whoever does not care for his own relatives, especially his own family members, has turned against the faith and is worse than someone who does not believe in God. 1 Timothy 5:8

The old saying - You can choose your friends but you can't choose your family - is something I have heard countless times.. But we must choose our family... We must choose to love them - even when they are unlovable... We need to reach out to them even if they are unreachable...... We need to try even when their backs are turned against us.....

It is very true that the ones you love can cause you the most pain... that's just the way it is... We need to overcome the pain.. we need to let go of our pride and forgive... to love... regardless... It is a difficult thing to overcome when someone does not respond to your love.... but that is the time to continue to love and not give up.... That is not to say - that you should become a rug so that you will be walked on..... it just means you need to love... and not hold grudges... It means to become reachable... it means to be there.... when your love is received..... and hopefully returned...

Whoever loves his brother lives in the light, and there is nothing in him to make him stumble. 1 John 2:10

Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers a multitude of sins. 1 Peter 4:8

Clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because, "God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble." Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you in due time. 1 Peter 5:5-6.

Big Sister... Little Sister

Today my youngest, Kara came into my office and said that Nikki (my thirteen year old) kicked her -

Me: Why did she kick you?

Kara: Because she wanted me out of her room

Me: Why were you in her room?

Kara: I was bored and I wanted to bug her

Me: Did the kick hurt?

Kara: No, I just wanted to get her in trouble...

I called Nikki into my office -

Me: Why did you kick Kara?

Nikki: Because she keeps coming in my room.

Me: Are you allowed to use physical force?

Nikki: No, but she mad me really frustrated... and I wanted her to know..

Me: Nik, that is why I gave you the book to write in - when you are mad at your
sister instead of yell, kick or say mean things - write about it..

Nikki: Well, I that doesn't work because I want her to know - how I feel and what I think...

Me: Is that what God wants? Don't you remember the book of James that you
read the other day?

Nikki: Yes -

Me: I know you think I am old fashioned and I don't know what being thirteen (13) is like but believe me, I remember - If you can follow one rule and remember it at all times you you would be much more happy believe me... The rule is Love Dare Day 2 - show patience and say nothing negative....

Nikki: (not looking convinced) yes, ma'am....

It tough being a teenager with a little sister - but as a parent I must teach my daughter self control... teach her to act in love and patience.... I need to set an example of a Godly woman so that she can learn by example.. I must pray everyday for wisdom and God's loving hand to guide in the ways of His will.....

Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you. Ephesians 4:32

Love Is Not Merely A Feeling

Love as distinct from "being in love" is not merely a feeling. It is a deep unity, maintained by the will and deliberately strengthen by habit; reinforced by (in Christian marriages) the grace which both partners ask, and receive from God. They can have this love for each other even at those moments when they do not like each other; as you love yourself even when you do not like yourself. They can retain this love even when each would easily, if they allowed themselves, be "in love" with someone else. "Being in love" first moved them to promise fidelity: this quieter love enables them to keep the promise. It is on this love that the engine of marriage is run: being in love was the explosion that started it. C. S. Lewis

Before I was married a good friend of mine also known as my sister, Debbie gave me some great advice... She said - every morning to make a commitment to love my husband that day - whether I wanted to or not..... She said to look in the mirror and say, "I will love Dusty today".. It was great advise... it would have been much better if I took it... It took me twenty (20) years to get it... Twenty years I wasted being a toxic wife..... and I wish I could have those twenty years back...

I am so thankful for the 2nd, third, and 578 chances to make it right... To make the choice to love.. It's funny - how really easy it is for me.... for us... Granted there are still many days that I just want to kick him in the butt for being a testosterone filled jerk and I sure there are times he's not too fond of my hormones either.. We fight... I yell and he has his great comebacks.. We have many different interests.. He loves sports... I can't stand to watch them on TV... He is always moving and doing something.. I like to sit and veg... He loves going to the swap meet - I love going to Macy's after Christmas sale.. but somehow in our differences we compliment each other...

Even when I don't like Dusty - I still love him..... That is in my opinion a sure sign of real adult love.. Love the way God intended us to love... Many times we are just not lovable... and still God loves us - warts and all. God does not love us because we are lovable but because he loves.. 1John 4:10 In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins.

Today- I choose to love Dusty. I choose to show him love him unconditionally... the way I am suppose too... the way I want too.

Phil Collins playing Groovy Kind Of Love - our first dance over twenty years ago..

Stop Being "Me" Motivated!

Romans 12:10 Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor.

We live in a world that is "self" motivated. Everything to do with making ourselves feel good...I was a young teen during the "me" generation... I remember all the self help books about making yourself feel good...empower yourself....make yourself number #1.. "I feel good... You feel good.. I'm okay.. you're okay... I I I.. It's all about me me me me... God tells us to put others first... to lift up our brothers... so my question is how can we put others first in a "me/I" world?

If we are going to be completely honest... the opposite of "me motivated aka selfishness" is love... How can we love others when we are too busy worrying about ourselves? Unfortunately, selfishness is ingrained in all of us - we can see it in the way children act... Almost every sinful action is motivated by a selfish act. Lying, stealing, adultery, and abuse...

We are hypocrites when we point our finger at someone else's selfishness but won't admit our own selfish moments... Why do we have such low standards for ourselves but high ones for everyone else? The answer is we are selfish.... it's human nature... it is our burden to carry... but when we turn it around and honor God - what an awesome feeling we get.... When we put our interests, desires, and priorities behind others - we are blessed.. truly blessed.. God blesses those who follow His law... His standards...

Loving others and acting on behalf of others leads to inner joy. It really does! When you prioritize others - the result is something that cannot be duplicated by selfish acts... It's a feeling of joy, happiness, fulfillment, and calmness that God gives to those who truly demonstrate real unselfish love..

I am so happy to be a child of God! I am so happy to have the opportunity to please Him... to live for Him... to be blessed by Him...

Philippians 2:3 Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than ourselves

Crazy Love For God..

Matthew 22:37-40 "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind." This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: "Love your neighbor as yourself."

I started reading a book today called Crazy Love: Overwhelmed by a Relentless God by Francis Chan. I was asked to read it before my retreat this weekend. Right away even before I hit chapter one, the preface got to me... Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and all your mind.... and Love your neighbor as yourself... That to me was just a kick in the pants... really. As Christians we know what we are suppose to do... but do we act on it? Do I act on it? The answer if I am going to be truthful here would be no.... I don't love my neighbor as I love myself... heck - I don't know many of my neighbors - I don't know many of my friends...

The funny thing is I want to love my neighbors as I love myself but how do I do it? How do I follow Jesus' example of unconditional love? I think the first step is to stop being a Sunday only Christian..... I need to be a 7 day 24 hour kind of Christian.... At church, I feel closer to God because I am there to worship Him.... when I walk out the door and get into the car - I am no longer worshiping - I've become mom and wife again with all the duties and obligations that it entails... Finding time to love my neighbor much less think about my neighbor almost becomes impossible.... almost...

When my pastor talks about living the "Uncommon Life" - I think - yes, that is what I am going to do.... Worldly stuff so long... I am here to serve God and only Him.... and for the most part, I believe that I am a good Christian woman but...................... I could do so much more to glorify Him.... so much more...

I am beginning to believe that serving God and living the uncommon life of a Christian is not something that comes naturally to me. I really don't believe it comes naturally for anyone... We are human.... with human and worldly desires... That does not mean that I don't love God with ALL my heart... I know I do... it just means that we (I) have to put actions to words and thoughts. It means I need to put "me" on the back burner and follow God... Take up that cross...

I believe that I (we) need to continue to grow in our faith... We need to challenge ourselves and others.. We need to lead my example.... We need to be accountable... We need to love..

Loving Our Elders....Today

One of the most important things I believe is to show elderly people that you love them and that they matter. . I don't mean go out a buy a gift... gifts have never meant much to me but rather spend time with them... letting them know that they are something special.....
I remember when Dusty's Great Aunt Doris and Uncle Ray were alive we would always drop by their home on the way to or from the mountains... They would be very excited... They would show us their beautiful orange trees and make sure we picked enough oranges to make a few batches of orange juice when we got home... Doris would play on her organ and we would sing along to songs like 'Take me out to the ballgame' and "She'll be coming around the mountain'... I loved it... Dusty loved it... my kids loved it... and Uncle Ray and Aunt Doris loved it... it was a special time for all of us.. Now that they have gone - we miss them... Whenever we are on our way home from the mountains, we always look at the turnoff for their home and we get sad....

I was recently at a convalescent home on business and it broke my heart to see so many lonely people... All I had to do was smile at one lady and I was introduced to her life... Introduced to a full lifetime of incredible memories... memories of war, marriage, children, grandchildren and death.... Emma had lived a full life and today she is in a convalescent home and unable to care for herself..... with very little family interaction.... She is lonely.... I enjoyed our visit so much that I asked her if I could visit her again..... you know what her response was?...... "When?" Just one word that brought joy and sadness.... I'll be seeing her next week.

We need to honor and love our elders.... We need to find time to spend with them..... Time on Earth moves very quickly and before you know it - they maybe gone... and all we will have left are our memories... Let's make them good ones...