Adoption Is Another Option

I have such a hard time accepting the fact that many people in society believe abortion is okay... I have a harder time accepting the fact that many people believe late term abortions -up to 40 weeks (yes, that's right 40 weeks) is okay. Many say it's for the health of the mother.... come on - people give me a break.. let's be honest... abortion is what it is.... killing an innocent life because it's easier for the mother.... maybe she's a student, a single woman, a career woman who doesn't have the time..... or a mother who already has "too" many kids.... I will concede that some abortions are labeled under "for the health of the mother" because it is believed by the physician and mother - but when you go into late term abortions - these children do have a viable chance at life if they were delivered properly.. and not aborted with the intention of terminating...
Adoption is another option to abortion... it really is.. I am the mother of two adopted children.. They are the loves of my life.... Because two women in this world acted out of selflessness and gave life to my daughters.... I am a mom today. My daughter Nikki is a beautiful and smart thirteen year old and my other daughter Kara is my eleven year old comedian that brings me laughter everyday and has the sweetest smile on this earth... I am a mom because of two women who CHOSE to give birth... who CHOSE to promote life... who CHOSE to be uncomfortable for 40 weeks out of their long lives.... thank you Cindy and Janelle... God bless you two for making me a mom...
I do not believe in violence of any kind.... I believe God is the Ultimate Judge and Jury. My heart is sad for the family of Dr. George Tiller.... no one deserves to be murdered... No matter how awful their "day job" is....when I read that he was murdered in the middle of a church service that gave me thoughts to ponder..... Here is a man who advertised the fact he gave late term abortions... he has been the target of many radical anti abortionists.. and in 1993 he was shot in both of his arms.. but he continued to perform these heinous procedures.. Why? What drove him to continue? How could someone perform an abortion on Saturday and be an usher in church on Sunday? There is definitely food for thought on this one.
I don't know where in the Bible but I do remember reading that one of the signs of the end of times was the lack of concern for human life... not caring about others... abortion especially late term abortion fits this to a tee in my opinion... this is just so sad to me..
I am not a fan of Bill O'Reilly - I have never really watched him and the clips I have seen of him yelling tend to turn me off but I recently saw this clip of him and Ann Coulter who is so outrageous in her way of getting her point across that she is extremely offensive. But her beliefs are conservative as my own... she's just in your face and not so forgiving for those that oppose her (she needs to show mercy - but that's just me).... that being said - I did find this video clip below interesting.. Bill and Ann are definitely outrageous but when you go past the wise crack unforgiving remarks... they make sense... What do you think?

Stop Being "Me" Motivated!

Romans 12:10 Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor.

We live in a world that is "self" motivated. Everything to do with making ourselves feel good...I was a young teen during the "me" generation... I remember all the self help books about making yourself feel good...empower yourself....make yourself number #1.. "I feel good... You feel good.. I'm okay.. you're okay... I I I.. It's all about me me me me... God tells us to put others first... to lift up our brothers... so my question is how can we put others first in a "me/I" world?

If we are going to be completely honest... the opposite of "me motivated aka selfishness" is love... How can we love others when we are too busy worrying about ourselves? Unfortunately, selfishness is ingrained in all of us - we can see it in the way children act... Almost every sinful action is motivated by a selfish act. Lying, stealing, adultery, and abuse...

We are hypocrites when we point our finger at someone else's selfishness but won't admit our own selfish moments... Why do we have such low standards for ourselves but high ones for everyone else? The answer is we are selfish.... it's human nature... it is our burden to carry... but when we turn it around and honor God - what an awesome feeling we get.... When we put our interests, desires, and priorities behind others - we are blessed.. truly blessed.. God blesses those who follow His law... His standards...

Loving others and acting on behalf of others leads to inner joy. It really does! When you prioritize others - the result is something that cannot be duplicated by selfish acts... It's a feeling of joy, happiness, fulfillment, and calmness that God gives to those who truly demonstrate real unselfish love..

I am so happy to be a child of God! I am so happy to have the opportunity to please Him... to live for Him... to be blessed by Him...

Philippians 2:3 Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than ourselves

Dealing With Conflict - God's Way

There has been some conflict in my life lately.... Conflicts with people I love.... I am one of those people that truly hates conflict.... but I am also one of those people that does not believe in sweeping things under the rug.... Recently my kids stayed a week with their grandparents.. There were many conflicts during that time... Many hurt feelings.. many misunderstandings... One of the things their grandmother would say after a conflict - was - okay let's just forget "it" happened... don't tell your parents.. and we'll move on... Well, no disrespect towards my mother in law but that just doesn't work.... My youngest came home very upset.... many hurt feelings and at this time does not want to talk or see her nana... I have a sister who I love with all my heart - but last year right after my dad died and feelings were raw - we had a big conflict.... and to this day our relationship is not the same.... not even close. I miss her.
We as humans can have problems with people... Believers who love the Lord and try to serve Him still can have conflicts with people (being a follower of Christ does not make us/me immune)... It would be great if everyone would just get a long... but in the real world unfortunately that does not happen continually.. It just doesn't.... Many people avoid confrontations... they fear being disliked or rejected.. But after time they start to resent the person they are avoiding and that doesn't do any good... We tend to have a belief that in every conflict there must be a winner and a loser.... at least I have always thought that... I have learned recently that there can be a win-win outcome in a conflict... but the conflict must be approached with the right attitude and the right heart... We need to confront with respect for the other person involved....
Matthew 18:15-16 If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses...
The longer we wait to confront someone - the more distracted we get.... the more angry we get.. and the problem develops a life of its own.. We need to address problems now ... today... we must not let it fester... we must not lose our loved ones... Positive confrontations is a way to show that we care about a person.. Each time you build up people - you give them the chance to grow... you give yourself a chance to grow..
Luke 6:36-41 Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful. Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you... Can a blind man lead a blind man? Will they not both fall into a pit?.. Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?
We need to deal with conflict the way God has outlined in the Bible...
A.W. Tozer once said, "Never be afraid of honest criticism. If the critic is wrong, you can help him; and if your wrong, he can help you. Either way, somebody's helped"

An Open Letter Asking For Forgiveness

Dear Sister, Brother, Mom, Dad, Friend, daughter, and/or son -

I am sorry. I am sorry that I hurt you with my words...without my words. I am sorry that I made you feel less than what you are... I am sorry I did not lift you up to where you should be. I am sorry that I let my pride..... my stupid and inexcusable pride get in the way of loving you. I am sorry that I made you cry... made you feel that you were not worthy of my love... or anyone else's love... I am sorry that I looked for the wrong in you and did not focus on the wrong in me....

I wish I could turn back time to the day before everything fell away.... We were happy then - you and me.... I hate the superficial way of life we have created towards one another.... I know you must hate it too..

I humble myself before you and ask for your unconditional forgiveness.... ask for your unconditional love.... I know I was wrong in all I have done.... I know that my behavior and attitude was not glorifying to our Father... but as our Father has always forgiven us... I ask for you to forgive me....

I love you.... Your Sister In Christ And In All Things

Mat 18:21-27 (NIV) Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?" Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times. "Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him. Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt. "The servant fell on his knees before him. 'Be patient with me,' he begged, 'and I will pay back everything.' The servant's master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go."

Mat 18:28-35 (NIV) "But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow-servants who owed him a hundred denarii. He grabbed him and began to choke him. 'Pay back what you owe me!' he demanded. His fellow-servant fell to his knees and begged him, 'Be patient with me, and I will pay you back.' But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. When the other servants saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed and went and told their master everything that had happened. Then the master called the servant in. 'You wicked servant,' he said, 'I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn't you have had mercy on your fellow-servant just as I had on you?' In anger his master turned him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed. This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart."

Where this servant failed, then, is in FORGETTING the merciful treatment His master gave him. He FORGOT the great sin he was forgiven of.

Soften That Hardened Heart.....

The only way to get to Heaven is through Jesus Christ.. The only way to get to Jesus Christ is to admit we are sinners, ask for forgiveness, and ask Him into our heart... It's free!!! It can not be earned.. The price has already been paid through His blood on the cross...
What really frustrates me is that society can dance around these straight and simple facts... Society implies if you are a good person then you'll go to Heaven... I'm thinking that there are a lot of "good" people in Hell right now... for the simple reason that they did not accept Christ..
Good works does not pave your way to Heaven.... following the ten commandments does not get you to Heaven... Many people in society are tricked into believing that only the bad evil people go to Hell.... that is so not true... I get fearful for many loved ones I know.. who are great people in my opinion...But refuse to see the truth.. refuse to listen to the truth.... are convinced that their way of living is okay... Many people say they "believe in God or a higher power" but do they really? Do they really know God? Jesus?
When I first became a follower of Christ - I was on fire... I wanted everyone to have what I had... I had a hard time believing that people were not ready to jump on board to Jesus... and while I mature in my walk - I have learned that many hearts are hardened..
In a society where having children outside of marriage is perfectly acceptable and if you are against gay marriage then you are a hater, and worshiping money is the normal way of life...I can see why many hearts are hardened.

Excerpt from "The Loving Heart
The hardened heart is a stubborn attitude that leads a person to reject God's will. It is an act of defiance, but seldom one of ignorance. We know the message, but we reject part or all of it. We may, for instance, believe that God's laws are primarily designed to promote a harsh, sanctimonious view of others. This is what many New Ager's think -- that traditional Christians are too judgmental. So they pick the part of God's message they like -- love, for instance -- and apply that as the essence of the law, while rejecting the rest of it. They are dead wrong, of course. Forbearance and humbleness is the way of Christ, not self-righteousness. But their hardened hearts will not accept this truth. They believe what their hardened hearts want to believe.
When God's ethical standards seem too high, people can suffer hardened hearts. When He allows personal tragedy to strike, hearts may harden against Him. When He leads us on paths where we do not want to go, that may harden hearts. Total submission to His will softens hearts, and God's people must always have a soft heart toward their Creator. A soft heart is also an open heart, open to His will and open to His plan for our lives.

Today and everyday I pray - for people to soften their hearts... Get up close and personal to their Savior... He loves us so much and wants us to open our hearts to Him....

Crazy Love For God..

Matthew 22:37-40 "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind." This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: "Love your neighbor as yourself."

I started reading a book today called Crazy Love: Overwhelmed by a Relentless God by Francis Chan. I was asked to read it before my retreat this weekend. Right away even before I hit chapter one, the preface got to me... Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and all your mind.... and Love your neighbor as yourself... That to me was just a kick in the pants... really. As Christians we know what we are suppose to do... but do we act on it? Do I act on it? The answer if I am going to be truthful here would be no.... I don't love my neighbor as I love myself... heck - I don't know many of my neighbors - I don't know many of my friends...

The funny thing is I want to love my neighbors as I love myself but how do I do it? How do I follow Jesus' example of unconditional love? I think the first step is to stop being a Sunday only Christian..... I need to be a 7 day 24 hour kind of Christian.... At church, I feel closer to God because I am there to worship Him.... when I walk out the door and get into the car - I am no longer worshiping - I've become mom and wife again with all the duties and obligations that it entails... Finding time to love my neighbor much less think about my neighbor almost becomes impossible.... almost...

When my pastor talks about living the "Uncommon Life" - I think - yes, that is what I am going to do.... Worldly stuff so long... I am here to serve God and only Him.... and for the most part, I believe that I am a good Christian woman but...................... I could do so much more to glorify Him.... so much more...

I am beginning to believe that serving God and living the uncommon life of a Christian is not something that comes naturally to me. I really don't believe it comes naturally for anyone... We are human.... with human and worldly desires... That does not mean that I don't love God with ALL my heart... I know I do... it just means that we (I) have to put actions to words and thoughts. It means I need to put "me" on the back burner and follow God... Take up that cross...

I believe that I (we) need to continue to grow in our faith... We need to challenge ourselves and others.. We need to lead my example.... We need to be accountable... We need to love..

Sometimes We All Are Careless

As a woman of faith - I try to love others... I try to forgive others.... and I try not to get angry with others.... As a human and a mother - I find that doing all that is very hard at times.... sometimes impossible in my mind... especially if it's about my children..

I truly believe that my children need to learn how to speak the truth... stand up for what's right... lead by example... love each other... and fight their own battles to a degree... What I mean by "fight their own battles" is that - when my kids have a disagreement with their peers- they need to work it out among themselves... in a non-violent way... I don't need to get involved and I won't unless something horrible occurs or is about occur... If my child is having issues with a teacher - I believe she needs to try to communicate with the teacher. Many times, it is only non-communication issue that causes my kids to be upset and when the understanding is clear then all is right with the world.... Basically our kids need to learn how to communicate in order to grow and become the person God intended...

Sometimes - our kids get hurt and just have to deal with it.... especially if it's a loved one hurting them. There are days in our lives that are special to us... birthdays, anniversaries, weddings, and many other personal achievements.... as a young child - not being recognized on their special day hurts... and as a parent - my first reaction is to call that person and say "hey, today's my kid's birthday.... would be really nice to get a phone call, an email, a card in the mail, a note on Facebook.... something letting her know that today she is special...."

Sometimes - loved ones are careless... sometimes I am careless.... sometimes we all are careless.. but the sad thing is - the pain is the same.... a person is feeling unloved... a person feels hurt...

Today - I know I am so far from perfect....because I am really angry... I do know that God understands my anger and He loves me anyway.. I also know that with Him - I will forgive and I will let go of my anger.... but today as a mom and an imperfect woman of faith..... I am hurting on my kid's behalf....

Butterfly Kisses From Daddy

My husband sometimes has to travel for days at a time... my youngest Kara used to get very upset when he would leave... She is a Daddy's girl and I am sure Dusty just loves that... A couple of years ago he went on a trip... he left her a present for her to find in the morning.. It was a book based on the song "Butterfly Kisses" and in the book was a CD of the song... she would play that song over and over again - because it was her and Daddy's song....
Well today we were driving home from dropping off her friend and Butterfly Kisses started playing on the radio.. I heard Kara sigh in the back and say "God knew I needed to here that song cuz Daddy isn't home tonight." wow.. I almost started to cry....
I thank God everyday for blessing me with my daughters...

Drinking Wine... Is It A Sin?

As a Southern Baptist woman - I often hear that drinking alcohol is bad.... that it leads to bad behavior and nothing good comes out of it. I have talked with friends at church who have shared that they felt very uncomfortable around people drinking... whether the person drinking is sober or not....

I have many friends that are Christians. Many of these friends are an inspiration to me. A few of them are active missionaries..... and they all drink wine and beer... So the Baptist side of me used to think - are they wrong?.... are they sinning?.... should I say something? On reflection - I believe the answer is no it's not wrong... no they are are not sinning... and why would I say anything.....

Why would Jesus' first miracle be to make wine if He had issues with it? He DOES have issues with being drunk and alcoholism but not the enjoyment of drinking wine.. I remember speaking with Nate York, the son of a Southern Baptist minister. Nate was very adamant that the wine Jesus made was just plain grape juice.. Nate told me "In the days of Jesus' ministry - grape juice was considered wine because the people of the time could only handle grape juice and that is why when the Baptist church celebrates communion -we drink little cups of grape juice and dry crackers...." That sounds plausible but the truth is - grapes would not "keep" unless they were turned into wine.

The new and old testament does warn us against drunkenness but also tells us to drink wine.

Ephesians 5:18 And do not be drunk with wine, in which is dissipation; but be filled with the Spirit..

1 Timothy 5:23 No longer drink only water, but use a little wine for your stomach's sake and your frequent infirmities.

There are many verses to pull from in the Bible but I believe the ones I did pull say it all. The New Testament clearly teaches that real wine should be used in communion - 1 Corinthians 11:23-26 - the last supper when Jesus said drink this cup (wine) is the new covenant in My blood, drink it, in remembrance of Me...

Clearly, God does not say that drinking is sinful but like all things... food, sex, friendship, and wine can be misused and abused... Christians should encourage responsible drinking, rather automatically assume or judge a person who is enjoying a glass of wine with their meal as a sinner or an alcoholic ... I do believe strongly that it is sinful to tempt an alcoholic with wine... If I were having a dinner party and a person who I knew had a problem with drinking, I would not serve wine with our meal.... Yes, the person probably would stay away from drinking... but why tempt them? My husband and I disagree very strongly on this subject.. He believes it's okay to serve wine because the alcoholic is an adult and can take care of themselves... we are not his parents. This is one of those times that Dusty and I have to agree to disagree... maybe it's easier for me not to serve wine or alcohol... because I never drink.... hate the taste.... yuck..

What do you think?

Jesus Take The Wheel

As mothers we tend to take on too much. Not believing that things can be done right or done at all if we don't take over.. As women we are constantly multitasking. As a single mother, I can only imagine how difficult it must be. I am thankful to God that I have not had to find out. I do know many single mothers and many feel so alone and lost... Never having time for themselves. Worrying about their children, worrying about the bills, and worry about everything except themselves..

There is a single mother of a young boy I have met recently.. She has been coming to our church service and I have also seen her occasionally at the women get togethers. I love the fact that my church offers daycare during our women/mother activities - making it possible for many mothers to come and hang out with a bunch of crazy Southern Baptist women as ourselves.. Well this particular mother has opened and broken my heart. She has shared a small part of her life with me. Currently, she is living in a homeless shelter - trying to find a job to support her and her son.. She also is trying to go to school to better her and her son's future.

This young woman was married and had a nice home to live in and all of a sudden it was gone. Her husband left her for someone else... left her with all the bills... all the rent... and no job. She was a stay at home mom... many times she has wanted to give up...

She was sharing with me that a song by Carrie Underwood helped to get her out of her self destroying thoughts and anger.. She realized that she has to let Jesus have control... her optimism for her future is contagious and I just love seeing her joy.... many of us could learn a lesson from this young lady... no home, no job, and no income but she has put her faith and trust in Jesus and she just glows....

Stress Filled Work Day - Not Fun

Today work was just plan awful.... Stressful environments bring out the worst in people... As many of you know, I own a contract mortgage loan processing business. Over the last few months, rates have dropped and a huge wave of refinancing has come in.. There is too much business for many companies to handle right now. Because of the fluctuating mortgage industry, brokers are a little shy to hire processors full time (costs way too much money) they hire people like me - who only get paid if their loan closes and everyone makes money. Lenders who have previously laid off their full staff and now have a skeleton crew are not ready for the huge increase in business.... the result is that underwriting times are taking three to four times longer than they should be - a lending staff that is so over worked and under appreciated that they no longer care about offering good service but trying to make it through the day without losing control. Good customer service is a thing of the past... The new game is passing the buck - No one taking responsibility for their lack of knowledge, their lack of customer service, or their lack of doing their job....
I believe because of the housing market and FNMA and FHLMC major messes - lenders are adding more conditions than are needed - critiquing appraisal much more harshly.... adding more forms.. adding more everything... I think because of the lack of workers - the lending staff is tired of being yelled at and pushed by brokers and processors.. so they have tuned themselves out... not really caring if a loan closes or not as long as they can bring home their pay check..
Today I had two beautiful and perfect loans that were suppose to fund - due to the high volume of loans the lender was not able to look at the file for funding until Sunday. (yes, we are all working weekends, holidays, evenings, and always) The escrow officer and I were able to handle every little thing the lender wanted... way before the deadline... and you know what happened? The person who was suppose to fund these two loans.... went to lunch and left every single broker and processor needing to fund their loan today in a major bind...the interest rate expired today and the rate we have - does not exist.... but if the broker has the borrowers pay $1870 then they can have the same rate that was free when we locked the loan in - if the lender did not go to lunch then everyone would have been stressed but happy - ie: making quotas and money....
Unfortunately, the lender refuses to acknowledge the numerous mistakes they have made... they refuse to make exceptions on two loans that have been mishandled from the first day in underwriting. I have documentation to support every allegation in my possession - unfortunately it does not matter - you cannot squeeze juice out of a rock (known as the lender)...
So today, while my mind was thinking up various ways to torture said hungry funder - I realized that though I feel my client is the victim - my heart and mind was in no way glorifying God.. I was filled with anger, hate, and no forgiveness..... I was paying attention to how this situation affected me.. I was only focused on me... and that is not where my heart should be..
Of course, it is my responsibility to do the best possible job for my clients... and of course - I must be diligent... But I must NOT lose focus what is right... not lose focus on how God wants me to handle things... with love and understanding.. He does not want me hateful.... He does not want me to be vengeful.....
Stressful environments can bring out the worst in people..... as a follower of Christ - I must continually fight against falling into that trap......