Reach Out And Don't Give Up!

When do you stop reaching out to a loved one?? When do you give up? Should you give up? Have you ever reach out to someone and the olive branch that you tried to give was rejected? Do you leave it up to them to reach out to you next? I know that it hurts when your love is not accepted or returned.. It feels awful - but we cannot give up...

Can you imagine giving up on your teenager when they treat you like the enemy? Or your baby that cries and refuses to be comforted? No, we do not... We may become frustrated.. angry - but we don't give up because we love our children unconditionally.... and as followers of Christ are we not told to love our enemies? Are we not told to give mercy?... What does mercy really mean anyway???? To forgive when it is not deserved.

"Love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return; and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High; for He Himself is kind to ungrateful and evil men" Luke 6:35

You can and should give undeserved love (reaching out) to your loved ones because God gave undeserved love to you and to me... Love is often expressed the most to those who deserve it the least...

Keep reaching - You might be surprised one day....

Forgiveness Is Not An Option

The other night I watched a little bit of a movie called Amish Grace... It was based on the true story of a gunman who walked into an Amish school and shot ten (10) Amish girls and then turned the gun on himself... Several of the girls died... The father of one of the girls who had died went to go visit the widow of the gunman along with a couple of the elders. He went to tell the widow that he has forgiven her husband and that he and his family were there for her - he offered her comfort... Because God has commanded him to forgive...

I remember many years ago listening to a Priest talk about his visits to different state prisons... He told the story of a woman who's daughter was raped and killed by an inmate.. After about a year into his incarceration the mother went to go see him... and through her tears she forgave him... She and the inmate kept in touch for several years...

I don't know if I would be capable of that kind of forgiveness... How difficult it must be... In one's sorrow it would be much easier to hold onto the anger... the hatred... at least I think it would be... I pray that I never have to test that thought...

Colossians 3:12-13 "Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you"

Luke 17:3-4 So watch yourselves. If your brother sins, rebuke him and if he repents, forgive him. If he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times comes back to you and says, "I repent," forgive him.

Micah 7:18-19 Who is a God like you, who pardons sin and forgives transgression of the remnant of his inheritance? You do not stay angry forever but delight to show mercy. You will again have compassion on us; you will tread our sins underfoot and hurl all our iniquities into the depths of the sea..

To Love No Matter What

Have you ever just wanted to give up on someone? Have you ever gotten so tired of the constant subtle rejections that you just want to lash out? Have you ever felt like you have given your all to this person (s) and no matter what you say... no matter what you do.... nothing matters? This is how I sometimes feel - sometimes I just want to lash out and ask them "Why?" "Why do you want to be indifferent? Why do you act like I don't matter?"

This Christmas I was hurt once again by yet another indifferent snub - I don't think this person goes out of their way to hurt me - I do believe this person does not know how to love unless there are conditions... I do believe this person is afraid to be vulnerable... afraid to put themselves out there.. And in that fear they hurt others..... I can't control the way this person feels or acts... I can't control the hurt that I feel but I can control the way I react.. I can control what I say and what I do.....

The Bible tells us to love one another.. to forgive one another... The Bible does not tell us to give up after a certain amount of time... the opposite in fact.

Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. Colossians 3:13

Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?" Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times. Matthew 18:21-22

We love because he first loved us. Those who say, "I love God," and hate their brothers or sisters, are liars; for those who do not love a brother or sister whom they have seen, cannot love God whom they have not seen. The commandment we have from him is this: those who love God must love their brothers and sisters also.
1 John 4:19-21

God does not give up on us..... In my quest to be closer to God.. a follower of Christ I need to keep loving.. keep trying to break down those barriers.... To love no matter what -

Surrendering My Pain

Have you ever reached out to someone so many times... only to be rejected? Have you ever wanted to make amends and say "I'm sorry" but the person you want to say it to has turned away.... with eyes and ears closed... Have you ever been so hurt by someone - that you lashed back - only to realize that your actions and anger was not the right thing to do.... it only causes more pain..

What do you do when the person you love... you need - doesn't love or need you back? Doesn't know how to forgive.... Doesn't want to forgive.... Doesn't know how to love.... Doesn't want to love.... Do you let it fester? Do you just leave it alone? Do you keep trying? Do you turn your back too?

I am lucky to have great loving people in my world... I have encouragers... prayer warriors... sisters in Christ.... People who understand pain..... People who love unconditionally.. People who know how to forgive and forget... People who teach me about the woman, mother, sister, daughter, and friend I want to be....

This year has been a time of soul searching.... a time of letting go.... a time of being real... a time of finding the answers... a time of strengthening my walk with Jesus... a time of appreciating the people in my life..... a time of loving my husband better... a time of setting an example for my daughters.....

I recently shared my story with a person very close to me... Shared the pain I have been enduring for the past year.... How to deal with it.... How to let it go.... Her advice is something that I feel was the right answer... for me....

I need to surrender my pain to God..... I need to trust God in every aspect of my life... I need to release the one who cannot love.. cannot forgive... cannot forget.... I need to give all this to God.. I need to be humble... and admit that Jesus is Lord... that He is God and that I am not... I need to release this pain that I have been holding on to so tightly and just let Him have it.... God wants us to give Him our sadness, our worry, our hurt, and pain...

Today - I have given this person to God.... What is meant to be.. will be... I cannot control the outcome.. I no longer want to try.... I have surrendered and where that leads.. God only knows and I have my trust.. my complete trust in Him... I'm looking up......

Forgiveness Is Freeing...

I have learned over time that if you play the tit for tat game you are going to lose.... Having a one up on someone does not make you a winner - it doesn't make you happy... it puts you on guard for the next tit... the next tat... It does not allow you to show forgiveness... grace - it makes you buy into Satan's game... he wants discord... conflict.... tit for tat games.... he wants hate...... he wants anger...

I have learned that there are many angry and hateful people in the world. People who are looking for the tit for tat games... the one up on you games.... the I'm superior and you are beneath me games.... People who are so sad in their own existence that it makes them feel better to hurt.. belittle... and threaten others.... They remind me of the bully on the playground... I cannot help but feel sorry for these people.. because I know beneath their gruff and hateful exterior they feel helpless and sad inside.... They need to find the peace that only God can give them... They need to release all the bad that is binding their hearts... their lives.... their souls....

No one wants to live a life of pain. No one does..... But many find comfort in their anger... their hate... they may use excuses to give reason for the way they are.... They may have had an abusive parent... an abusive spouse.. friend, relative.. they are ill - they are not appreciated.. they have been abandoned.... there are thousands of reasons and excuses to build anger and hate on - it's all about choices.... We decide if we want to hate and take out our anger on others or we let it go... But the fact remains - everyone has had their share of pain... It is up to us to let go of what others have done or not done to us.....

I will never forget the death of a dear friend's dad.... her dad was an angry and often times an abusive man.. He did and said things to his daughters that no father should ever say or do.... He suffered for many years from cancer and many other smoking relating diseases.. I know that he found comfort in her faith... and in her sister's faith.... I know he found forgiveness.... But on the night he died - he was seeking forgiveness from her sister - he would not let go until he received it... When her sister told him that she forgave him and that she loved him... he became free... she became free..... Forgiving people who have harmed you.... is freeing.. It gives peace... It brings you closer to Christ and in that forgiveness and peace.. You find comfort... Her dad's death changed me... changed her it made us realize that life is so very short and I want to spend it loving others... not hating....

I love this quote about forgiveness from CS Lewis - There is no use in talking as if forgiveness were easy. We all know the old joke, "You've given up smoking once; I've given it up a dozen times." In the same way I could say of a certain man, "Have I forgiven him for what he did that day? I've forgiven him more times than I can count." For we find that the work of forgiveness has to be done over and over again....

God does not love us because we are lovable - many of us are not at times - me included - but He loves us because he loves - that is what He does.... I pray that I can become that person - the person who loves first at all times... that is quick to forgive.... slow to anger.... I pray that more people come to know Jesus and release their the hate and anger that bind them so that they can be free....

Choose Your Family

Whoever does not care for his own relatives, especially his own family members, has turned against the faith and is worse than someone who does not believe in God. 1 Timothy 5:8

The old saying - You can choose your friends but you can't choose your family - is something I have heard countless times.. But we must choose our family... We must choose to love them - even when they are unlovable... We need to reach out to them even if they are unreachable...... We need to try even when their backs are turned against us.....

It is very true that the ones you love can cause you the most pain... that's just the way it is... We need to overcome the pain.. we need to let go of our pride and forgive... to love... regardless... It is a difficult thing to overcome when someone does not respond to your love.... but that is the time to continue to love and not give up.... That is not to say - that you should become a rug so that you will be walked on..... it just means you need to love... and not hold grudges... It means to become reachable... it means to be there.... when your love is received..... and hopefully returned...

Whoever loves his brother lives in the light, and there is nothing in him to make him stumble. 1 John 2:10

Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers a multitude of sins. 1 Peter 4:8

Clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because, "God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble." Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you in due time. 1 Peter 5:5-6.

My Want List

I want to be an approachable person..... I want to be the person that others feel comfortable with... I want to be seen in a positive light.. I want to be a beacon to others.. I want to be able to share my faith.... I want to love others unconditionally...
I want to always trust in God.... I want to be a prayer warrior.... I want my children to grow up to be followers of Christ... I want my husband to be proud of me... I want to go into the mission field.. I want to help in a shelter..... I want to see my kids have a happy life.... I want to be able to forgive completely... I want to feel comfortable being me.... I want to make a difference.... I want to not be shy.... I want to glorify God in all that I do....

What do you want?

Sometimes We All Are Careless

As a woman of faith - I try to love others... I try to forgive others.... and I try not to get angry with others.... As a human and a mother - I find that doing all that is very hard at times.... sometimes impossible in my mind... especially if it's about my children..

I truly believe that my children need to learn how to speak the truth... stand up for what's right... lead by example... love each other... and fight their own battles to a degree... What I mean by "fight their own battles" is that - when my kids have a disagreement with their peers- they need to work it out among themselves... in a non-violent way... I don't need to get involved and I won't unless something horrible occurs or is about occur... If my child is having issues with a teacher - I believe she needs to try to communicate with the teacher. Many times, it is only non-communication issue that causes my kids to be upset and when the understanding is clear then all is right with the world.... Basically our kids need to learn how to communicate in order to grow and become the person God intended...

Sometimes - our kids get hurt and just have to deal with it.... especially if it's a loved one hurting them. There are days in our lives that are special to us... birthdays, anniversaries, weddings, and many other personal achievements.... as a young child - not being recognized on their special day hurts... and as a parent - my first reaction is to call that person and say "hey, today's my kid's birthday.... would be really nice to get a phone call, an email, a card in the mail, a note on Facebook.... something letting her know that today she is special...."

Sometimes - loved ones are careless... sometimes I am careless.... sometimes we all are careless.. but the sad thing is - the pain is the same.... a person is feeling unloved... a person feels hurt...

Today - I know I am so far from perfect....because I am really angry... I do know that God understands my anger and He loves me anyway.. I also know that with Him - I will forgive and I will let go of my anger.... but today as a mom and an imperfect woman of faith..... I am hurting on my kid's behalf....

Expecting The Worst In People

Tonight I received an email from a borrower who's mortgage loan I just closed. He received a really great loan rate and saved over $575 on his monthly payment. When I first started working with him, I sent over his loan application for him to sign... He immediately sent me back an email accusing me of lying to him and that the payment I quoted him was not the payment on his loan application.. Well, he neglected to realize that the mortgage payment was exactly what I quoted him and he was adding his taxes and insurance that he already pays into the payment... He jumped to the conclusion that I was cheating him... After I explained in detail - he realized his mistake and all was well.
Well in tonight's email he is once again accusing me of fraud and not following through on my promises... The guy once again jumped to the wrong conclusion and I will be happy to clear this up for him tomorrow.. What is really bothering me is that he automatically assumes that I am cheating him... Here is a quote from the email I received tonight - "If the problems can't be resolved reasonably soon, I intend to report everyone involved to the appropriate Federal and State authorities. As a lawyer and former official with HUD in Washington, I have no intention of allowing what seems to be a clear case of fiscal/accounting chicanery go unnoticed" In this borrower's case he just doesn't understand that a mortgage accrues interest in arrears and when he makes his May payment he is actually paying for the month of April.... no biggie - I can clear it up for him.. I just hate the fact that he assumes the worst.. in me and my staff.. To further impress or intimidate me, he has stated that he was an official with HUD.. If that were true, he would understand the loan process....I am telling myself that I have to let it go.. don't point fingers... show grace....show kindness....show the other cheek..
When I think about what happened tonight, I realize that as humans we often jump to the wrong conclusions about people. We often assume that the person that we are dealing with is not being truthful or is trying to "get something" from us. We know that we are being truthful and honest but we don't believe others are...so why do we expect people to trust us when we are not trusting?
Tonight, I am praying for patience and forgiveness for this borrower.. Praying that God will give me the right words to say that will glorify Him. I know it is hard to show grace when you are being accused of something you have not done.. and as Followers of Christ we need to just do that.....show grace... forgiveness.. and respect... and Not assume the worst in people..

Pride and Forgiveness

I have learned many lessons in my Forty three years of life.. Most of them over the past few years... I have learned that My Pride has not permitted me to fully forgive someone. I was right, she was wrong.... she was right, I was wrong.. I'm sure you have heard many a story like that... When I think about the hurtful words said to me out of anger and confusion... I start to make myself angry all over again... I know that she and I have our own memories and truths... and I think no matter how many times we drive our versions into the ground neither one of us is going to budge.... I know that the words and memories I said to her were not words of kindness and love...they were meant to make her feel as bad as she made me feel... an eye for an eye. a thought for a thought.. a stab for a stab... she felt that she was the original victim and I thought I was...so around and around we go.
What is truly sad to me...is that she was my best friend for the past twenty years... we have known each other forever but became close after I got married. She and I have been to hell and back.. We had always been each others support system..and always a friendly voice at the other end of the phone...and with a few words of anger.. it's all gone...Never to be found again.. Once that kind of trust is broken there are too many scars left behind to go back to the way it was... Will we have a real relationship again? I don't know... Do I want a real relationship again..I don't know... My heart says yes....but my mind and my pride say I just don't know....I'm hurting... A very dear friend of mine gave me these words of wisdom. "You can forgive someone even though you are torn a part inside.. You can forgive through your tears... It does not mean that you go back to the way things were.. It does not mean that the pain will go away quickly...what it does mean is that we trust God enough to Forgive someone as he forgave us.... I don't know why my pride hasn't let me let it go completely....
As Christians, God tells us to forgive one another. Col 3:13-15 'bearing with one another and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another: even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do. But above all things put on love, which is the bond of perfection and let the peace of God rule in your hearts...'
A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control." [Proverbs 15:1-2] In other words, in this case, fully and uncontrollably expressing oneself while angry is seen as being not prudent, a sign of foolishness as opposed to a sinful action. Thus, in the Bible, anger is qualified based upon its context and consequence.
I have been a very foolish woman... I know that... and I know that with God's help I will get right on this... I need to completely forgive..not just "half forgive". God has forgiven everything I have ever done so if I want to follow Jesus and carry that cross... I need to forgive too....

Easter = Hope

In today's Easter morning sermon, my pastor talked about how Easter = Hope. In 1 Peter 1:3-4 it says, 'Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead....
When I was reading the news this morning there was a story about the Pope's Easter message. It said that Pope Benedict XVI sought to give a message of hope on Easter Sunday to victims of wars, poverty and financial turmoil, saying it was urgently needed to overcome the miseries that are plaguing Africa, the Middle East and other parts of the globe.
I was surprised on how negative and uninformed the comments to this story was. Here are a couple.
SOJJ said, "Funny how EASTER is all about the pope and not about the RETURN OF JESUS nor comments about that in the future!"

SOJJ also said, "This is quite backwards. The pope says EASTER
Jesus said,' Watch and be ready, I will come again and receive you'.
Our future is not about Jesus Birth, nor His death, But his return"

There were many other comments like this. I was amazed on how so many people do not understand the True meaning of Easter. Easter shows us how much God truly loves us. He sent His One and Only Son to die on the cross for our sins...Easter is the celebration of the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ.. This is the foundation of our faith. Jesus died so that we can be forgiven. He took the sins of our world and died and rose three days later..

There were three major points in today's sermon that I would like to share.
I There is always hope for us because Easter demonstrated that God is for Us. Romans 8:31-33 'What, then shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his Son, but gave him up for us all-how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?'
II There is lasting hope because Easter reveals the Poser of God's Forgiveness. Col 3:13-14 'Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.'
III There is hope because Easter demonstrates that Redemption is available. 2 Cor 5:17-19 'Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting men's sins against them.

Easter is all about the Resurrection, the forgiveness of sins, Jesus dying on the cross, and yes HOPE.