Have you ever reached out to someone so many times... only to be rejected? Have you ever wanted to make amends and say "I'm sorry" but the person you want to say it to has turned away.... with eyes and ears closed... Have you ever been so hurt by someone - that you lashed back - only to realize that your actions and anger was not the right thing to do.... it only causes more pain..
What do you do when the person you love... you need - doesn't love or need you back? Doesn't know how to forgive.... Doesn't want to forgive.... Doesn't know how to love.... Doesn't want to love.... Do you let it fester? Do you just leave it alone? Do you keep trying? Do you turn your back too?
I am lucky to have great loving people in my world... I have encouragers... prayer warriors... sisters in Christ.... People who understand pain..... People who love unconditionally.. People who know how to forgive and forget... People who teach me about the woman, mother, sister, daughter, and friend I want to be....
This year has been a time of soul searching.... a time of letting go.... a time of being real... a time of finding the answers... a time of strengthening my walk with Jesus... a time of appreciating the people in my life..... a time of loving my husband better... a time of setting an example for my daughters.....
I recently shared my story with a person very close to me... Shared the pain I have been enduring for the past year.... How to deal with it.... How to let it go.... Her advice is something that I feel was the right answer... for me....
I need to surrender my pain to God..... I need to trust God in every aspect of my life... I need to release the one who cannot love.. cannot forgive... cannot forget.... I need to give all this to God.. I need to be humble... and admit that Jesus is Lord... that He is God and that I am not... I need to release this pain that I have been holding on to so tightly and just let Him have it.... God wants us to give Him our sadness, our worry, our hurt, and pain...
Today - I have given this person to God.... What is meant to be.. will be... I cannot control the outcome.. I no longer want to try.... I have surrendered and where that leads.. God only knows and I have my trust.. my complete trust in Him... I'm looking up......
