An Open Letter Asking For Forgiveness

Dear Sister, Brother, Mom, Dad, Friend, daughter, and/or son -

I am sorry. I am sorry that I hurt you with my words...without my words. I am sorry that I made you feel less than what you are... I am sorry I did not lift you up to where you should be. I am sorry that I let my pride..... my stupid and inexcusable pride get in the way of loving you. I am sorry that I made you cry... made you feel that you were not worthy of my love... or anyone else's love... I am sorry that I looked for the wrong in you and did not focus on the wrong in me....

I wish I could turn back time to the day before everything fell away.... We were happy then - you and me.... I hate the superficial way of life we have created towards one another.... I know you must hate it too..

I humble myself before you and ask for your unconditional forgiveness.... ask for your unconditional love.... I know I was wrong in all I have done.... I know that my behavior and attitude was not glorifying to our Father... but as our Father has always forgiven us... I ask for you to forgive me....

I love you.... Your Sister In Christ And In All Things

Mat 18:21-27 (NIV) Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?" Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times. "Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him. Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt. "The servant fell on his knees before him. 'Be patient with me,' he begged, 'and I will pay back everything.' The servant's master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go."

Mat 18:28-35 (NIV) "But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow-servants who owed him a hundred denarii. He grabbed him and began to choke him. 'Pay back what you owe me!' he demanded. His fellow-servant fell to his knees and begged him, 'Be patient with me, and I will pay you back.' But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. When the other servants saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed and went and told their master everything that had happened. Then the master called the servant in. 'You wicked servant,' he said, 'I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn't you have had mercy on your fellow-servant just as I had on you?' In anger his master turned him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed. This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart."

Where this servant failed, then, is in FORGETTING the merciful treatment His master gave him. He FORGOT the great sin he was forgiven of.

Soften That Hardened Heart.....

The only way to get to Heaven is through Jesus Christ.. The only way to get to Jesus Christ is to admit we are sinners, ask for forgiveness, and ask Him into our heart... It's free!!! It can not be earned.. The price has already been paid through His blood on the cross...
What really frustrates me is that society can dance around these straight and simple facts... Society implies if you are a good person then you'll go to Heaven... I'm thinking that there are a lot of "good" people in Hell right now... for the simple reason that they did not accept Christ..
Good works does not pave your way to Heaven.... following the ten commandments does not get you to Heaven... Many people in society are tricked into believing that only the bad evil people go to Hell.... that is so not true... I get fearful for many loved ones I know.. who are great people in my opinion...But refuse to see the truth.. refuse to listen to the truth.... are convinced that their way of living is okay... Many people say they "believe in God or a higher power" but do they really? Do they really know God? Jesus?
When I first became a follower of Christ - I was on fire... I wanted everyone to have what I had... I had a hard time believing that people were not ready to jump on board to Jesus... and while I mature in my walk - I have learned that many hearts are hardened..
In a society where having children outside of marriage is perfectly acceptable and if you are against gay marriage then you are a hater, and worshiping money is the normal way of life...I can see why many hearts are hardened.

Excerpt from "The Loving Heart
The hardened heart is a stubborn attitude that leads a person to reject God's will. It is an act of defiance, but seldom one of ignorance. We know the message, but we reject part or all of it. We may, for instance, believe that God's laws are primarily designed to promote a harsh, sanctimonious view of others. This is what many New Ager's think -- that traditional Christians are too judgmental. So they pick the part of God's message they like -- love, for instance -- and apply that as the essence of the law, while rejecting the rest of it. They are dead wrong, of course. Forbearance and humbleness is the way of Christ, not self-righteousness. But their hardened hearts will not accept this truth. They believe what their hardened hearts want to believe.
When God's ethical standards seem too high, people can suffer hardened hearts. When He allows personal tragedy to strike, hearts may harden against Him. When He leads us on paths where we do not want to go, that may harden hearts. Total submission to His will softens hearts, and God's people must always have a soft heart toward their Creator. A soft heart is also an open heart, open to His will and open to His plan for our lives.

Today and everyday I pray - for people to soften their hearts... Get up close and personal to their Savior... He loves us so much and wants us to open our hearts to Him....

Crazy Love For God..

Matthew 22:37-40 "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind." This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: "Love your neighbor as yourself."

I started reading a book today called Crazy Love: Overwhelmed by a Relentless God by Francis Chan. I was asked to read it before my retreat this weekend. Right away even before I hit chapter one, the preface got to me... Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and all your mind.... and Love your neighbor as yourself... That to me was just a kick in the pants... really. As Christians we know what we are suppose to do... but do we act on it? Do I act on it? The answer if I am going to be truthful here would be no.... I don't love my neighbor as I love myself... heck - I don't know many of my neighbors - I don't know many of my friends...

The funny thing is I want to love my neighbors as I love myself but how do I do it? How do I follow Jesus' example of unconditional love? I think the first step is to stop being a Sunday only Christian..... I need to be a 7 day 24 hour kind of Christian.... At church, I feel closer to God because I am there to worship Him.... when I walk out the door and get into the car - I am no longer worshiping - I've become mom and wife again with all the duties and obligations that it entails... Finding time to love my neighbor much less think about my neighbor almost becomes impossible.... almost...

When my pastor talks about living the "Uncommon Life" - I think - yes, that is what I am going to do.... Worldly stuff so long... I am here to serve God and only Him.... and for the most part, I believe that I am a good Christian woman but...................... I could do so much more to glorify Him.... so much more...

I am beginning to believe that serving God and living the uncommon life of a Christian is not something that comes naturally to me. I really don't believe it comes naturally for anyone... We are human.... with human and worldly desires... That does not mean that I don't love God with ALL my heart... I know I do... it just means that we (I) have to put actions to words and thoughts. It means I need to put "me" on the back burner and follow God... Take up that cross...

I believe that I (we) need to continue to grow in our faith... We need to challenge ourselves and others.. We need to lead my example.... We need to be accountable... We need to love..

Sometimes We All Are Careless

As a woman of faith - I try to love others... I try to forgive others.... and I try not to get angry with others.... As a human and a mother - I find that doing all that is very hard at times.... sometimes impossible in my mind... especially if it's about my children..

I truly believe that my children need to learn how to speak the truth... stand up for what's right... lead by example... love each other... and fight their own battles to a degree... What I mean by "fight their own battles" is that - when my kids have a disagreement with their peers- they need to work it out among themselves... in a non-violent way... I don't need to get involved and I won't unless something horrible occurs or is about occur... If my child is having issues with a teacher - I believe she needs to try to communicate with the teacher. Many times, it is only non-communication issue that causes my kids to be upset and when the understanding is clear then all is right with the world.... Basically our kids need to learn how to communicate in order to grow and become the person God intended...

Sometimes - our kids get hurt and just have to deal with it.... especially if it's a loved one hurting them. There are days in our lives that are special to us... birthdays, anniversaries, weddings, and many other personal achievements.... as a young child - not being recognized on their special day hurts... and as a parent - my first reaction is to call that person and say "hey, today's my kid's birthday.... would be really nice to get a phone call, an email, a card in the mail, a note on Facebook.... something letting her know that today she is special...."

Sometimes - loved ones are careless... sometimes I am careless.... sometimes we all are careless.. but the sad thing is - the pain is the same.... a person is feeling unloved... a person feels hurt...

Today - I know I am so far from perfect....because I am really angry... I do know that God understands my anger and He loves me anyway.. I also know that with Him - I will forgive and I will let go of my anger.... but today as a mom and an imperfect woman of faith..... I am hurting on my kid's behalf....